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slmehaffey February 13th, 2013 08:58 PM

Samantha's Baby D
I want to give a little bit of my past to let you in on where my joy really comes from....so here goes, I'm windy so bear with me.

DH and I got married in '07 after only dating for 9 months, I wanted babies right away, he didn't, so we bought a lab/chow mix puppy. The best dog in the whole world! After a lot of name debate she became Tristen. At this time we also had a chihuahua that I had owned since I was 13 and was very much mine and getting rather old.
A year later just before our anniversary I went on a conference for Christian women, and realized with a little joy that I would be ovulating while I was gone. The joy was in the fact that I HATED using protection and always felt a bit rejected when DH wouldn't consider having a baby yet. As it turns out I didn't Ovulate until the day I got home and DH was in the mood, I warned him, he shrugged his shoulders and two weeks later I gave him a birthday card that was really a baby shower card and told him congratulations.
We had our son Caeden in Dec. 08.
Then in early 2010 we moved across the country for DH's job. I got pregnant for a second time shortly after arriving, and was feeling really sick and really stupid right away... (proof of the stupid is that I took 3 pregnancy tests, all said positive and I read them ALL as negative... dumb :o... )
Our Daughter Sapphira made her arrival in Dec '10 which leads me to believe I'm only fertile during a specific time of the year...lol. Sapphira's birth was hard core... not in that it was painful because honestly I never had one contraction I considered to be painful all the way till I was dilated to 9cm and 90% effaced. Then knowing that I had high fluid levels and Sapphira's cord was long and head was not engaged, they demanded to break my water and after doing so I was rushed to c-section because her cord was prolapsed, my only memory after this is that of them cutting my stomach open, yes I felt it.
When Fia (Sapphira's nickname) was about 4 months old I started realizing I was fighting a loosing battle with PPD and got a therapist quickly who told me I didn't have PPD but rather PTSD from my section. She helped a ton and I was able to go about life with out our regular visits after about 4 months.
Dec 26th '11 My dog, my first baby Tristen had a sudden and massive problem with a brain tumor that had bothered her for only 3 days and we had to put her down. I still mourn for her.. she was an amazing dog!
Jan '12 I began what I thought was an early period and turned out to be a 3 week miscarriage that ended in surgery to remove an ectopic pregnancy (that oddly enough finally removed itself right as the surgery began) The loss was extremely difficult, I hadn't even known I was pregnant until going to the ER for excessive bleeding, and then was on bedrest for three weeks until they finally located my baby and then decided to remove it, it was a whirlwind event... BUT in that second surgery I got to see things more clearly. The surgery was in a different hospital which was much more friendly, the scariest part of my c-section memories is the OR light, but in the second surgery the light was even more friendly! Anyway even though I lost my Jaemi, I gained some much needed healing from the experience, and truly feel that God used that pregnancy to help me out.
In early March '12 we packed our whole house and moved again across the country, this time in the opposite direction and even further than the first move. This time we had to live with my parents. DH was US NAVY and was at the end of his term and they didn't accept him for another one.
So Jobless, Tristenless, homeless, and without my miscarried baby I took the kids across the country, in the car alone. DH took the furniture and a different route than me so I really was alone. The trip was AMAZING! I can't say how blessed I was to have taken it with the kids and how great they were!
Then in June '12 Prissy my chihuahua who was very old and I totally expected it to happen just didn't know when. Passed away. My 3 year old (at the time)son found her, and got his first sad view of death... I weaped out in a corn field asking God why he kept taking things from me. And I got a calm answer, 'this is the last thing I'm taking for awhile'.
And immediately my husband got a job, then a better one, we got a 4 bedroom house (just a rental but that is cool we don't plan to stay in this city forever), then we started ttc our third and final child in Dec '12, got a van for our hopefully growing family (one of our goals for this year), early this month, and then I just got a positive pregnancy test yesterday morning!

A little more about the pregnancy since that is more what this is for....
I've started feeling pregnant a few days ago, nausea, sore boobs, food aversions, I don't even like my favorite snack right now! Cheetos... YUCK... and I'm not happy about that LOL...
I knew it was probably a good idea to pick up some high protein breakfast items for the week and did, I'm so glad! The eggs and meat I'm eating for breakfast are the only appealing food I've found this week.
My first test was at 10dpo and it was a blue dye test which I've since learned are not the greatest...lol. the line showed up super faint, so faint I had to ask DH if he saw it too. then it disappeared GRR... took another test, a wal-mart cheapy ($.88) and it was negative at 5:30am, and it was negative, I was frustrated and confused so when I woke up again at 9am I said forget the bathroom I'm going to the store and rushed to buy one of those 6 days before tests hoping it would be the best for me, and a snickers bar because 1. I was hungry and it sounded good, and 2. if the test was negative I'd need chocolate to get through it.
Pee'd on the dang thing and accidentally forgot to take the cap off until midstream... oops! I swear I took that thing off. Anyway, caught that problem just barely in time to still get enough for the test strip and then the control line was taking so long to show up that I left the bathroom and cuddled with Fia on my bed until the 3 mins was up.. but then I couldn't go look so I made DH do it. He started laughing when he saw it.
"All that for another very faint positive!"

slmehaffey February 17th, 2013 08:20 PM

Re: The story of Loss and Gain where loss loses and Gain grows.
Morning sickness kicked in pretty quickly and had me a bit scared, I couldn't eat so many of my favorite things last week. It was just like that with my daughter.
But today I've been without problem all day, I'm eating a bit less than I normally could, but I feel great!

slmehaffey February 20th, 2013 04:53 PM

Re: The story of Loss and Gain where loss loses and Gain grows.
I'm feeling awesome today, went in for a WIC appointment and then danced at the senior center with the ladies... they asked me how my 'trip' went and I had to tell them the reason I hadn't been there was because I hadn't been feeling my best because 'we're having a baby!' it was the best announcement ever! the whole room of about 15 women was excited for me! I loved it!

slmehaffey February 24th, 2013 08:23 PM

Re: The story of Loss and Gain where loss loses and Gain grows.
5 weeks 1 day.
I was thinking girl for how much morning sickness I had when I first found out, but since then I've had hardly any, and now I'm thinking boy... reason being my son was an easy pregnancy with only 1st trimester ms, my daughter was 6 months of ick followed by 3 months of great pregnancy.
My symptoms lately are: increased saliva, decreased energy, I need SO much sleep! and a few food aversions but mostly just a need for protein all the time.

jennyrae03 February 25th, 2013 08:03 AM

Re: The story of Loss and Gain where loss loses and Gain grows.
Just caught myself up on your journal! Sounds like you have had quite the journey - but I really think that you're in it for the long haul this time, and you're right, it sounds like you're going to have an easy pregnancy! I'm hoping it's the same for me, since I'm also not really having any symptoms! Fingers crossed for both of us that these babies are the answers to our prayers. You sound like you deserve it :)

Can't wait to hear more from you!

Oh and also, I'm sorry to hear about your doggies - I have a dog named Atticus, and he is my absolute best friend in the whole wide world. We have been through absolutely everything together, and I cry just thinking about how sad I will be when he passes. I can't even imagine how you must have felt. :(

slmehaffey February 25th, 2013 08:47 AM

Re: The story of Loss and Gain where loss loses and Gain grows.

Originally Posted by jennyrae03 (Post 27131978)
Just caught myself up on your journal! Sounds like you have had quite the journey - but I really think that you're in it for the long haul this time, and you're right, it sounds like you're going to have an easy pregnancy! I'm hoping it's the same for me, since I'm also not really having any symptoms! Fingers crossed for both of us that these babies are the answers to our prayers. You sound like you deserve it :)

Can't wait to hear more from you!

Oh and also, I'm sorry to hear about your doggies - I have a dog named Atticus, and he is my absolute best friend in the whole wide world. We have been through absolutely everything together, and I cry just thinking about how sad I will be when he passes. I can't even imagine how you must have felt. :(

I still get rather sappy thinking about Tristen, she was too young to die and such an awesome dog. Prissy on the other hand I miss her, but she was old and lived a long and eventful life and I feel like it couldn't have been a better life... I got her when I was 13 and she died just before her 15th birthday.
I now don't have any pets for the first time in my life, I miss them a lot, and can't wait to get another, but our lease agreement is that we wont have dogs in this house... Our lease ends in September and depending on how things go we may find a pet friendly location, or ask our landlords to consider letting us get a dog.

5weeks 2 days:
I woke up with morning sickness this morning, after a week and a day with none... ugh. hope it doesn't last!

slmehaffey February 27th, 2013 09:38 PM

Re: The story of Loss and Gain where loss loses and Gain grows.
5 weeks 5 days
I spoke to my midwife on the phone today, she seems to really have it all figured out, and is very much at ease with what she does. I'm so happy. She also told me about the care she gave to a previous client (with that clients permission of course) and it sounds wonderful, so I'm very excited about this birth.

slmehaffey March 10th, 2013 02:36 PM

Re: The story of Loss and Gain where loss loses and Gain grows.
7 weeks 1 day
I have my first appointment with the midwife tomorrow... I need to make a list of all my questions for her, but I have not yet. I'm both excited and nervous. I have not gotten our insurance set up yet which means I can't get a script for zophran or something to ease this morning sickness so I can start being the mommy I love being for my kids, and the wife and housekeeper I love being for my husband. I may ask her to write a script just so I can hold onto it until the insurance goes through.
I'm also excited and nervous about going without my kids... this is the first time I will have left them with anyone since we moved here... I'm not worried about the sitter or really worried about the kids, It is just a mile stone I guess. I really wish this appointment was not just a consultation and I could ask to hear my babies heart beat... even though I probably wouldn't be able to at this point in the pregnancy.

slmehaffey March 18th, 2013 08:15 PM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
Well I have a ton to update on I guess.
7weeks 2 days- I threw up for the first time, I'd been dry heaving a ton and was really getting a great abdominal work out...lol... it wasn't fun. With the actual puking I don't feel any better afterward but I don't heave as much either, so I guess it is a good change.
I also saw my midwife for the first time that day. She was just as confident in person as on the phone, and I'm really really excited to be hiring her for my HBAC! Unfortunately we didn't try to listen for babies heart beat, but I feel confident that he or she is growing just fine. I also couldn't ask for a perscription because she doesn't write them herself her physicians assistant does and she wasn't at this appointment, I think I'd have to call that in.
8 weeks 2 days- today.
Morning sickness sucks, no mater how you look at it. I've not been able to do more at one time than just to load the dishwasher without puking any day in abour two weeks going on three. I had two very breif breaks yesterday at which time I loaded the dishwasher and picked up some of the kids toys in the livingroom. Honestly you can't tell I did a thing because 1. I wasn't able to do much and 2. the house is such a wreck that even if I spent hours cleaning it wouldn't look much better.
Hubby has been amazing though, stepping up to help out in lots of areas that I don't even have to ask for. He gets up and dressed and about 50% of the time gets our daughter up and changed, then goes down stairs and makes breakfast for everyone, cereal for DS, oatmeal for DD, and then depending on his mood and the amount of time he has he will either fry me an egg put on some toast and fry some bacon or microwave me a Jimmy Dean sandwich, and take care of his own breakfast, then watch some cartoons with the kids, do his college work on-line, make lunch for everyone (occassionally I can help but not usually) then he helps me get the kids down for naps, naps with me and gets up to pack himself a lunch and quietly leaves for work, usually without waking me up. This kid is getting one amazing dad!
He wasn't like this with the other two pregnancies, but I think that having been through those two he kinda knows what I can and can not handle, and then after our loss last year and me being on bedrest I think he is just ready to step up his game when he is needed. He is AMAZING! I couldn't have asked for a better husband!

Now, I REALLY want to continue doing MY part, so this morning sickness can just get right on out the door any time now! I so far today have taken care of the kids, gotten three loads of laundry washed (still need to get the last one in the dryer) and folded a few loads from last week that still hadn't been folded, and took the kids to church to get their derby cars cut out (DH is making them with the kids but didn't have the right saw to cut them and the church was hosting an event for it)... hopefully tomorrow is a more productive day, but I feel pretty good about todays productivity.

jennyrae03 March 19th, 2013 08:53 AM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
Wow girl, sounds like morning sickness is kicking your butt! Hopefully you start feeling better soon, or get some medicine to help with that! At least your husband is awesome and really stepping in to help! That's super great! Crossing my fingers for you that you start to feel better! :)

slmehaffey March 19th, 2013 06:56 PM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
Morning sickness has a tendancy to really kick my butt in every pregnancy, it was be a miracle if I didn't get it. But on the bright side I have not lost weight yet, whereas both of my others I lost 5lbs in the first trimester.
I did have a pretty good day today though... I mean still incredibly nauseated but I also felt good enough to tackle cleaning my kitchen... however my dishwasher got a clog that I have no idea how to fix so of course no mater how I felt I didn't get the kitchen clean. LOL... such is my luck.

slmehaffey March 28th, 2013 05:40 PM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
nine weeks 5 days
I can't believe I have not updated in two weeks, nearly three! Although the only thing I have to say is that I'm pretty sure this morning sickness junk is HORRIBLE!
Today the sun was shinnig and the snow was mostly melted wo I took a chair out to the porch steps and sat while the kids played, it was glorious! they only had to wear light jackets, and I got to sit in the sunshine! Then we colored easter eggs, which was also fun.. I'm a little sad that this year Fia didn't get hand prints all over her eggs, she kept dipping her hands in the dye last year and it resulted in the cutest handprints on the eggs.
I think I felt baby move once at the begining of this week, I have not felt it since then though. I was sitting and resting the corner of my regular journal on my belly while I was writing in it and felt this little retaliation. I love that feeling! I've tried to get it to happen again but no dice.
I also got ahold of the midwife and set up my next appointment, it isn't until April 22nd, and that kinda sucks, I'll be 13 weeks then and get the first chance to hear a heartbeat. I'm ok with it I guess... DH's birthday is the 24th and it will be a nice birthday present for him.. unless they hear two.. that would probably be enough to give him a heart attack LOL!
I also finally got my insurance set up and my PCP is a family doctor, I'm hoping that if I get an appointment with her I can get her to perscribe me something for nausea without refering me to an OB since I'm having a home birth... hopefully she will be supportive of that.
That's it for now.

slmehaffey May 2nd, 2013 07:16 PM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
wow it has been a while since I updated!

14 weeks 5 days
I still can't figure out why my ticker is a day ahead of me....
Anyway, I had my first appointment a week ago monday, and it was fun! My midwife seems so friendly and onfident, and I met one of her apprentices, who has five kids and the youngest is only 5 months old so she was there for the appointment too. It was nice to be in such a family friendly place, I didn't have to worry that my kids sitter canceled on me, and no one cared when they got kinda loud for a little bit.
The doppler was messing up and I didn't feel confident enough to ask them to try to listen for a second heartbeat, but we did get a good reading of one... so at least there is one baby in there! LOL..
When they were looking for my babies heartbeat the apprentice was trying to find my uterus and pressingn into my scar pretty badly and I hated that feeling, never had it before my c-section, pain I mean while they tried to find the baby's heartbeat... but I dealt with it fine and was getting a tiny bit concerned when she couldn't find it anywhere... the midwife took over felt my belly and said my uterus was a lot higher than she'd expect it to be at 13 weeks (where I was when I had the appointment), it was actually only about two inches below my belly button and I checked on-line to see how many weeks along a person should be with their uterus that high and it said 16 weeks... It has been a bit over a week since then and my uterus is AT my belly button... it is growing so fast... seems crazy to me! But I really can't remember if it was high with my other two babies either so it may not mean a thing.. but certainly has me curious.
Also the morning sickness is more like morning sickness now.. only happening in the morning and late late at night when I am over tired... So I've been getting a lot done this week.. Patrick says I'm probably over-doing it, he is probably right, but I have not cleaned my own house in 9 weeks, and it is driving me bonkers, so I've been on a step by step process to get this place cleaned up... the hardest part is ignoring the mess that I can't get to in order to clean the one I can.
So far the laundry is on schedule again and the kitchen is clean, so if I keep the laundry on schedule and the kitchen clean then I should be able to start working on the livingroom again... and once that is good I should be ok to maintain the home again!
Just because I like to brag about my scheduled cleaning I'm going to share!
monday- I do ds's laundry and clean up his room (with his help) dishes, floors and counter tops
tuesday-wash towels, clean one of the two bathrooms top to bottom, dishes, floors and countertops
wednesday- DH and I's laundry, clean our room including mirrors and vacuming, dishes floors and counter tops
Thursday- this is my catch up or get ahead day... so if I know the weekend is particularly full I'll do my weekend laundry or if I fell behind earlier in the week I'll catch up now.. dishes, floors and countertops
Friday- DD's laundry and tidy up her room (with her help) dishes floors and counter tops
Saturday- Wash bedsheets that need washing (I don't do this every week, just as needed) dishes floors and counter tops
Sunday- that is my day off, and I refuse to do ANYTHING cleaning wise anyway.... it can wait for monday.

Ok.. got it out of my system...
Baby is fluttering and thumping about at least once a day now and I love the feeling! stops me in whatever my thought or action is and makes me smile... it also tickles so sometimes I laugh and DH thinks I'm crazy.
Also my pictures suck at telling my pregnancy story...lol.. cause I'll be HUGE for like three days and then I take my picture and you can't tell I'm pregnant at all...

jennyrae03 May 3rd, 2013 08:49 AM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
Sounds like you're feeling a lot better! So happy to hear that, I know you were super miserable for a while there. And way to go on the cleaning schedule! I used to have one of those, until my work schedule got switched and I work weird hours. It's just not as convenient for me anymore. So now I just do a power clean on my days off, if time allows it. Otherwise I just do laundry and dishes here and there.

Sounds like your appointment went really well too - glad you feel comfortable there. That's really important to me, and I'm sure it is for you too!

PS, your ticker is just like mine and mine changes over to the next day at like 6pm. So right now I'm 14 weeks 4 days, but at 6pm it will say 14 weeks 5 days. So random lol

slmehaffey May 3rd, 2013 07:55 PM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
Ok... maybe that is what the deal isthen... cause I always get on after I put the kids in bed (well almost always) and it seemed like once when I was on it was correct.... that must be whats going on with the thing.

slmehaffey May 7th, 2013 10:30 PM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
15 weeks 3 days
yesterday I was sitting outside watching the kids play and talking on the phone, and suddenly felt this totally crazy spasm, that is the best way I can describe it.
My pregnancy book says baby is about the size of a softball and the best detailed description I could give is that a softball with arms and legs had a hiccup or spasm, or I don't know what....
Then last night when I was getting super sleepy and sitting on the couch I felt a real kick. I've been feeling them randomly all day today too... I'm so excited, I don't remember such a clear change in patterns of kicking verses fluttering with my other two kids.. but ever since that spasm this baby hasn't been fluttering at all... just pure kicking and rolling type movements! So exciting!

slmehaffey May 13th, 2013 09:11 PM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
16 weeks 2 days
So mommy's birthday and mothers day just happened, and let me tell you, I'm TIRED!!! We drove 4 hours to see the tulip festival and it rained so we really didn't enjoy a festival, but did have fun and visited with cousins, but for as little as I actually did I can't imagine feeling so tired!
That was Friday and Saturday, Sunday (mother's day) we slept in, went out to eat and just relaxed most of the day until after the kids naps when I had to go grocery shopping and oops left my wallet in the cart at Wal-mart, good thing it was dinner time and I had to go to Burgerking or I'd have driven 30 mins home before realizing I'd left it.... ack! pregnancy brain strikes again!
Daddy got me some flowers, Orchids!!! so pretty! I have to learn how to take care of them so they don't die and you can see them when you are born baby!
Then Monday (today) was my birthday, I'm 29 today. Don't worry I'll actually turn 30 next year, none of that 29 plus 1, or 2 junk, I'm proud of my life and so glad I'm where I am at my age! Daddy bought me a new radio for the kitchen, mine was totally broken and didn't get stations very well, and the CD player skipped really badly... so I'm thrilled about my presents!
We also had a midwife appointment today, I loved going, but after this weekend I wasn't thrilled to get back in the car for that long drive... Caeden Sapphira and Daddy were not too thrilled either.
Your heart beat was at 152 this time, 167 last time... my fundal height is still about 2-3 weeks ahead of where it should be, but that doesn't seem to concern anyone.
We should be getting an ultrasound scheduled soon, and then I'll get a peak at you! though I'm still determined to wait to hear whether you are a boy or girl when you are born!
That's all I've got for now baby! I can't wait to meet you!

jennyrae03 May 14th, 2013 11:36 AM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
Happy Birthday Samantha!!! :D Sounds like you have a great family and had a wonderful mothers day and birthday!

slmehaffey June 5th, 2013 07:46 PM

Re: Samantha's Baby D
19 weeks 4 days
I had a melt down, a lot has been going on, I found out your big sister has to have glasses two weeks ago, ordered them the same day and still have not heard back as to when we can go pick them up, they said it would be two weeks, and it has been and I'm on edge.
Then I've been thinking about the ultrasound a LOT, and it was really stressing me out. I trust everything is fine with you, don't have to see pictures of you RIGHT NOW.. I feel totally calm about you, however my midwife wants to know where your placenta is, and if it is over my scar from your sister's birth... if it is she wont keep me as a client... if it is not I can have her as my midwife. I want to have her as my midwife but what is more important is that I know as soon as possible that I can or can not have her, because if I can't I have to find someone willing to give me a good chance at a VBAC.
I also have this tiny nudging in my head that I had with my pregnancies with both of your siblings (oddly not at all with Jaemi, who is now in heaven), and I want to confirm that you are indeed one baby, or find out if there are two of you in my womb. Both of these things weigh on my mind constantly and I can't get them off... even though neither of them feel like they should be that heavy on me.
I cried today, then I put on my big girl smile and called my midwife and told her about my anxiety about being supported in my birth, and she immediately called her PA and got them to submit the order for my ultrasound. I'm so glad I called her.
Your sister had an allergist appointment today to confirm that the last six months of cutting milk out of our diets has indeed helped to ease her eczema. I was sure that is what they would tell me, but just wanted confirmation of it.
They did not tell me that. However on the way to that appointment I got a phone call to schedule the ultrasound! It is TOMORROW!!!! I'm so excited. I'll be perfectly happy if there is one of you, and stunned and happy if there are two... not sure how I will react if your placenta isn't in the right place, but I'll get through that too. I'm mostly just releived that it is finally happening! And just before my next appointment with the midwife!
And just to complete the above mentioned story about your sister's appointment, here are the results.
No Milk alergy at all, though she clearly has something causing some of her symptoms it is not likely that it is causing her eczema (though not entirely ruled out as far as I'm concerned) however she has a severe peanut allergy, so in one month she has gotten both glasses and an epi-pen.
I'll write more tomorrow after my appointment.

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