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Rissa6213 March 12th, 2013 06:36 PM

I haven't talked to anybody about the way I have been feeling, but I'm wondering what is wrong with me. Whether it's just horomones or if I'm having other issues. I had issues with depression for years in my past and I feel maybe that pregnancy has brought some of those issues back. I cry over everything. I have no desire to call my friends or any of my family or husband's family. I get up and go to school, then come home and go back upstairs to bed. I seriously only get out of my bed to eat and go to the bathroom. I have school Mondays and Wednesday's then spend the rest of the week cooped up in my room. I'm constantly sad or irritated with somebody or something. My body just constantly aches everywhere and my stomach is always aching..... I don't want to exercise, and I honestly don't want to even eat half the time but I do. Its really hard to be pregnant without my husband here...and we hardly even get to talk now because of his work schedule and the 9 hour time difference. I'm not even looking forward to a baby shower. If my mom wasn't so excited to throw it for me I would have changed my mind and told her I don't want one :-( I don't know what's going on with me. I'm definitely going to talk to my doctor at my next appointment. Im starting to worry that after my son is born I'll really have a hard time dealing with post pardum depression. Sorry for the pity party....I just had to get it out.

navywifey2003 March 12th, 2013 06:49 PM

Re: Depression?
In my experience what you are going through has a lot to do with the deployment. Add hormones into that and it's a crap storm. Being pregnant with a delayed spouse is so hard. I don't even know how I made it thru it. I was miserable. Are you actually tired and sleeping or staying in bed because of it? It you are actually tired it could be your hemoglobin. It's so hard doing the day to day it becomes so routine, try to change it up if you can, do something you wouldn't usually do. See a movie by yourself, take yourself to dinner, host a dinner something to make it less routine. That helped me a lot. I can relate to this so much, longing to have what everyone else had their husband at their appointments, someone to complain to at the end of the day. I was so jealous of everyone else around me. At my cousins daughters birthday party they showed a slide show that included pictures of her husband holding a newborn, something I didnt have. I left the room and cried. It is okay to feel this way but please talk to someone about it. I don't want it to get any worse. Huge huge hugs!

sunnydaze March 12th, 2013 06:54 PM

Re: Depression?
I only get depressed during and directly after pregnancy. I never suffered from it otherwise. I do get the same symptoms you describe, but I started to force myself to go out and be social even when I felt like i would rather stab myself with a fork. You should talk to your doc, they will probably prescribe you a low dose antidepressant.

I had to go on them with sebastian and then again directly after my pregnancy. The weather also didn't help, but now the sun is starting to battle its way forward and that helps too.

You need to talk to your doctor, and maybe a therapist.

Rissa6213 March 12th, 2013 07:14 PM

Re: Depression?
Yes I have definitely considered a therapist. I do think a lot of it is being so lonely and everyone having their husbands with them except for me. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. I'm not really sleeping at all when I'm in bed all day. I'm just in bed because I don't want to be around the world. I can't even stand having my curtains open. All I have is school....and I've been trying to just bury myself into my books and now I'm worried even that is losing my interest. I'm just a big blob with no motivation. I have an appointment next week. I'd rather stay drug free, not necessarily because of the pregnancy, but because it's been over 5 years since I have had to take antidepressants and I'm very proud of that so....I'd like to keep it that way. But I'm all for the therapy.

D&K's_mama March 12th, 2013 07:17 PM

Re: Depression?
I have been very depressed and having a lot ofanxiety lately. Never have I felt as terriable as I have felt lately! Ive been so moody, snappy @ everyone .. the least little things just push me over the edge.I cry all the time..just getting to the point I cant even stand myself.. I had my Dr apt today and just told her how ive felt and how.miserable ive been.. she prescribed me low dose of zoloft and I already have seen a difference just taking it today.. so please talk to your Dr. I hope you get to feeling better soon!

zkat March 12th, 2013 07:23 PM

Re: Depression?
I will be honest that I am very concerned for you. The combination of deployment, pregnancy hormones and a history of depression is really tough. Please talk to your Dr.

Know that we are all here to support you and listen.

Rissa6213 March 12th, 2013 07:50 PM

Re: Depression?
Thank you. I don't know what I'd do without this board and you ladies.

zkat March 12th, 2013 08:14 PM

Re: Depression?
Pregnancy is hard. Deployed spouses is hard. Being a mommy is super hard. It is why so many DDC stay so close, even with drama. We are all dealing with a lot of the same emotions, fears, and feelings. Nobody understands like another mommy. The first 6-12 weeks after baby comes feel nearly impossible. On one hand, you have the most amazing creature that you haved loved and looked forward to meeting for 9months and on the othe, you really just want to take a shower and sleep. It makes you super conflicted, which is only going to magnify your depression. You might consider a low dose med, just to get you through the worst of it. There is no shame in asking a medication. It is not like you chose depression. It is a chemical reaction.


Ps. Typing on my iPad, so forgive my typos.

momneedscoffee13 March 12th, 2013 08:24 PM

Re: Depression?
Ditto, ditto, ditto! Minus the school part, I'm being forced out of bed to care for my toddler, or I'd probably spend my days in bed, too! This pregnancy has been so completely different than my first, and I haven't experienced these feelings of depression in a really long time. I have my first appointment with a therapist in a few weeks, though she can't prescribe meds. I'm not comfortable (nor do I like) my current OB office, so I'm not sure what route we'll go. I'll talk to her about it and see, I know there's a psychologist in her office that can prescribe if necessary. Though I can't relate to the deployment part, I can definitely relate to the feelings. Feel free to PM if you ever want to talk, or FB me.

navywifey2003 March 12th, 2013 08:59 PM

Re: Depression?
Huge hugs Hun. I would find a therapist first if you don't want to go the meds route this second. I went thru this again my 2nd deployment it's no walk in the park pregnancy or not. Tricare covers it, there is no shame in it!!

Gen88 March 12th, 2013 10:49 PM

Re: Depression?
Definitely talk to someone about it including your Dr, don't have much knowledge on depression but just wanted to offer my support :hug:

farmfourmama March 12th, 2013 10:54 PM

Re: Depression?
Bring on the pity party! It's so good to get it out and off your chest! Especially by taking little steps like typing it out.. Then talking to a therepist(basic stranger) then taking the steps to get going again mentally:) I ditto what everyone else said! We are all here for you! Don't be afraid to post !!

Kim3 March 13th, 2013 05:24 AM

Re: Depression?
Hoping your doctor can help - can you get to see him/her earlier? Your hormones are crazy now and I am sure there are ways that someone trained can help. I wish I knew them for you. The best you can do for you and your family is to locate a person who really can help. In addition, we are here. :console:

mommy220 March 13th, 2013 05:57 AM

Re: Depression?
I am so sorry you are having a tough time. It must be so hard to have your husband gone, I cannot even imagine. I think with how you just have school a few days a week that makes it easy to get into a rut of wanting to stay home.

I have definitely been hormonal and have days where I am so depressed but I have work everyday and a 5 year old so it keeps me busy. I agree with what someone said about trying to add things to your schedule.


MamaSkunk March 13th, 2013 09:01 AM

Re: Depression?
Ditto everything Brianne said. I get out of bed for my toddler pretty much but thats it. And I think that all the cold and snowy weather isnt helping. I was a summer baby too and therefore have always preferred the sunshine...dont get me wrong I hate too hot but I need some sunshine. I wanna get out and go for walks etc and take DD to the park but I hate the cold so going outside isnt even pleasant. And thats making this hormonal depression worse for me. Im actually still in bed at almost ten am letting my DD just play with toys next to my bed and watch tv. Spose i should get out of bed and shower...something I havent done in three days...so i can barely stand myself. I am just not the person i normally am lately. Normally im outgoing and talkative a social butterfly/center of attention type person(eh im a leo lol) but lately im moody and withdrawn and quiet. Cannot get motivated to do anything at all its horrible. Im sure ive even been a horrid cohost lately cuz I read posts but barely reply...and posting new posts ive been bad about too. Sigh. I really need to get outta my funk cuz i cant stand myself.

zombiemommy March 13th, 2013 11:08 AM

Re: Depression?
As a diagnosed manic depressive (with some other technical fancy medical named mental disorders thrown in there), I'm there with you. I quit going to a therapist and taking medications a long time ago because I hated feeling like a doped up zombie all the time. Meditation and finding outlets is what really helped me and honestly without my Hypnobabies to focus on during this pregnancy I would probably be a huge mess. There is still one or two days out of the week that I pretty much refuse to do anything but the bare minimum or I don't even get out of bed or talk to anyone and I don't think I could make myself talk to anyone even if I wanted to.
Depression sucks. Talk to your ob... usually there are people through them or the hospital you're going through that you would be able to talk to. My mental state and awareness is always the first thing my doctor and I talk about at appointments and I even get a call every week from my nurse. They want to help you, seek it out and take advantage of it!
I hope things get better... and everyone is here for you!

overlinmommy17 March 13th, 2013 02:34 PM

Re: Depression?
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. My heart goes out to you and i have no idea how hard it must be without you husband. I just wanted to chime in and say that you are in my prayers and i know things will get better for you. Talk to your doctor and don't be ashamed of what you are feeling! HUGS!

Rissa6213 March 14th, 2013 03:12 PM

Re: Depression?
Thank you everyone for your kind input. I have everything all sorted out and a counselor picked from my list. All I need is a referral from my OB next week to make the appointment. Very much looking forward to getting everything off my chest. Hopefully I get to feeling like myself again soon!

navywifey2003 March 14th, 2013 04:29 PM

Re: Depression?
I've never needed a mental health referral with tricare. Just call the tricare line a d select one they will tell you that you just need to make the appointment. At least that's been my experience

Rissa6213 March 14th, 2013 08:20 PM

Re: Depression?
I called today. I can only self-refer to Licensed Social workers, all others I need a referral from an MD. And all the social workers around here aren't accepting new patients of course! At least all the ones within 25 miles. Which plan do you have? I have tricare prime, and I have limited options in such a remote area. I miss my naval clinic! I never had any confusion with them!

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