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-   -   Conflicted (https://www.justmommies.com/forums/f2038-2013-playroom/2657823-conflicted.html)

MamaSkunk June 11th, 2013 12:31 PM

First of all I could probably only admit this to you ladies. But I feel sooooo conflicted right now. BTDT moms aren't supposed to be afraid of giving birth. We have been there done that. But the closer to my due date I feel not only anxious wanting to have my baby boy here already so I can have him in my arms and I can kiss him to pieces however I keep feeling absolutely terrified of impending labor and delivery. Yeah I know kind of what to expect, except the actually going into labor on my own part. I want it to happen that way so badly because...I hated pitocin! There I said it. Yeah I know I am one of the few that managed pitocin with no drugs nor epi. But remembering how much it sucked has me utterly terrified of a repeat...and has me freaking out about labor in general. Sigh. I feel so stupid for being so fearful this time around. I pray pray pray I will go into labor on my own soon. Please no pitocin and no induction God or powers that be. Is that too much to ask? Well that's my rant/confession of the day. I want my baby but I am a chicken s**t.

pamela.burke611 June 11th, 2013 12:42 PM

Re: Conflicted
I am totally with you on that, except I gave in and got an epidural because the Pitocin made it so horrible. My water broke with my daughter but contractions didn't follow.. so I am totally with you on wanting to fully go into labor on my own, contractions and all because I am terrified of the Pitocin and I really wanna try for a natural birth this time.. so please, if my water breaks again, let contractions follow.. if my water doesn't break this time, please let me go into labor on my own... my confessions are the same as yours for this time! I will keep my fingers crossed for you! Keep yours crossed for me too :)

ashleykathleen June 11th, 2013 12:46 PM

Re: Conflicted
I think BTDT moms are totally allowed to be terrified. This was my 3rd and I was scared **** less up until active labor. I remembered how awful both my epidurals had been so I knew I didn't want that but I was terrified of attempting an induction with no drugs. When the time comes, instincts will kick in and all fear will work toward getting your little man here. It will all soon be a distant memory :)

navywifey2003 June 11th, 2013 12:46 PM

Re: Conflicted
You can totally rock this birth Hun. I had several fears going into Payson's birth. And she is my 4th, my 3rd NCB, and my 2nd home birth. I had to let go of the fear and felt my instincts take over as her birth got closer. You can do this Hun.

MarylandMama June 11th, 2013 12:48 PM

Re: Conflicted
Same thing happened to me, except I also caved and got the epi. I really want to go into labor on my own, but I am having so many issues at the end of this pregnancy that I am concerned about my mental health if they continue. If she hasn't shown up by Friday, they are going to kick start my labor with pitocin, then turn it off and let my body take it from there. As much as I don't want another nightmare labor, these last weeks have been such a nightmare already that I am at my wit's end. I hope we all go into labor naturally this time tho!

sunnydaze June 11th, 2013 12:48 PM

Re: Conflicted
I'm still horrified by the IV and spinal block needle. The rest I am cool with.

I have a stupid question, and I hope no one thinks I'm being judgey because I'm not. But I remember when I was pregnant with Alex and Sebastian and I never had an "induction" date in case I went overdue. It was just...if you went over due...you went over due until the baby came or it became a health risk. (Which is what happened with Sebastian).

Why are you thinking you need pitocin? I mean, I know going overdue SUCKS like big giant ones....but it can't possibly worse than the pitocin?

Again, not judging, just ignorant.

phantomsgrl11 June 11th, 2013 12:57 PM

Re: Conflicted
I'm ignorant too - what is so bad about Pitocin? They gave me two bags of it each time after my C-sections and sure it was pretty painful - jerks making you go through the pain of a C-section then contractions afterwards on top of it but I don't know any different either. I deny pain meds pretty quickly and was only doing 600mg of ibuprofen 4 hours post op.

sunnydaze June 11th, 2013 12:58 PM

Re: Conflicted
Why did they give you pitocin after your csection? I'm SO CONFUSED!

MamaSkunk June 11th, 2013 01:14 PM

Re: Conflicted
I was given the highest level of pitocin because my water broke and there were no contractions happening at all and once your water breaks after 24 hours there are alotbof risks to baby. And while your water is broke even before 24 hours are up there are infection risks to baby etc. My body basically didn't know what to do hence the pitocin. Pitocin makes your body contract like your body does during transition...so the big whammy ones. There is no buildup. You start off with strong contractions and get no break between them. I was pretty much contracting non stop with no break in between after the first few hours. The first few hours I got a 30 second break. I also have a bleeding problem and allergy to most Caine drugs which makes epis etc out of the question. Basically a c section for me is me being put under. So anyway what makes being induced and pitocin so bad for me is dealing with those nasty contractions with non pain relief option at all. I am a natural mama by choice when it comes to no drugs but I honestly don't really have an option anyway. And with DD I had 24 hours of those contractions. So I hope that explains why I don't want either Tania.

navywifey2003 June 11th, 2013 01:15 PM

Re: Conflicted
Pitocin after birth is usually used for bleeding. It helps the uterus to contract and in turn helps stop the bleeding.

Pitocin contractions for labor are worse than regular contractions because they are artificial. They make the uterus work harder than it would without it. Which is why it's a concern if you use too much you overstimulate the uterus.

As far as your question Tania, I can't speak for others And I know Karry was 2 weeks overdue with her daughter. A lot of women choose to induce for many reasons before their due date or after. Some just are not comfortable going past their due date. While I would have been its not the same for everyone. I can't speak for them but I know there are some concerns for others going over.

KellBell2621 June 11th, 2013 01:15 PM

Re: Conflicted
i am so scared too! this is my 2nd. and same as you- was induced with my first after my water broke and no contractions so i'm so nervous i'll have contractions this time and basically not get to the hospital in time...my dh works a lot of night shifts, so it'd take him about an hour to get home after he makes the calls for someone to come in to cover for him then it's another 40 minute drive to the hospital, and we'll prob have to drop my son off at my moms so add another 10 minutes to that. i'm so worried that if i wait til contractions are 3-5 minutes apart to call my doc that i wont make it in time :( i know 2nd labors tend to go faster and i only labored for 12 with ds (including from the time my water broke) and having had false labor all weekend i'm just a nervous wreck. but i have to keep reminding myself that this is natural for our bodies to do this and everything should be okay. i hope.

MamaSkunk June 11th, 2013 01:20 PM

Re: Conflicted
Oh and I didn't choose an "induction" I just ended up with the process since my water broke. And my water broke because the sac had deteriorated from going over due. I basically woke up one morning to a huge gush and no contractions at all.

sunnydaze June 11th, 2013 01:31 PM

Re: Conflicted
I wasn't judging anyone. I was just curious why some women have induction dates. It was never even presented to me as an option both times I was previously pregnant. I didn't even know it was a thing until I started reading about it here.

In fact, when Sebastian went to distress, they didn't give me the option then either. They told me I needed a c section and I needed it right then.

I was never given pitocin after the csection either. They did, however, do the same thing they did after alex and that was press on my uterus/stomach area. Do they usually only do that if you are bleeding excessively?

Oh and my water never broke, the doc actually broke it for Alex like 3 seconds before I started pushing. All I remember really is being wet and squishy like.

Kyla0709 June 11th, 2013 01:54 PM

Re: Conflicted
This is my third and I think I more scared this time around than with my other two. I so want to go into labor on my own, but they won't allow me to go past 39 weeks. And I really doubt I'll go into labor on my own before then, it's not stopping me from trying though. I've been walking everyday, taking EPO, drinking RRL, DTD. I hope something will break soon. I'm already more progressed than I ever was with either of my boys, almost 2cm and 50%, but that was Saturday and maybe I'll get lucky and on Thurs. I will have made even more progression. I think I would be totally willing to go past my EDD but the doctors won't let me with the high BP issues. I'm upset I will probably never get to experience NCB and I always have wanted to since I was pregnant with my first. Oh well, I suppose all that really matters is that my boys are here and healthy.

navywifey2003 June 11th, 2013 01:55 PM

Re: Conflicted
I also didn't really know much about inductions until JM. They pushed on my uterus too which is done for a few reasons one is to help your uterus contract without mess to help shrink to normal size and to check the position of your uterus to make sure it's returning to normal size.

phantomsgrl11 June 11th, 2013 02:05 PM

Re: Conflicted
Yeah they gave me the Pitocin in order to get my uterus to shrink back down to size. They told me it was standard after C-sections? Then again seeing as I'm clueless about most of it I just took their word for it. Between the C-section, the Pitocin and the contractions of my uterus from baby trying to latch on - I felt like I did 1000 sit ups the next day. LOL

I love JM because it is so informative. I love hearing everyones experiences and learning the different options of everything. Keep asking the questions ladies! I learn so much from all of you.

MarylandMama June 11th, 2013 02:17 PM

Re: Conflicted
I had the pitocin with DD bc my water also broke before I was contracting. Even with it, my water was broken for 28.5 hours before she was born. We had to stay in the hospital for an extra day to be monitored for an infection. It was really awful bc the contractions were super hard and super intense from the beginning and never let up. They were also not as effective as normal labor contractions. I was only dilated to 1cm before that, so I had a long way to go. This time, I know I was already 3cm as of Friday and I have had so much false labor for the last couple of weeks that it, on top of all of the really stressful stuff going on with my family, is really threatening my mental stability at this point. So my midwife suggested just trying to jump start things on Friday and then turning it off bc she is also concerned about how mentally stable I am going to be if this continues. It would definitely not be my first choice and I hope things happen on their own before that, but if it doesn't, I have to do what I have to do to be able to care for DD and this baby when she arrives.

Kim3 June 11th, 2013 06:20 PM

Re: Conflicted
Karry - I was really worried for my second. My first labor was the standard 15 hours and really hurt. I tore and had an episiotomy. I was sitting on ice packs for quite a while. Luckily my second labor was a breeze (really way) and the recovery was nothing. I hope the same for you.

As for pit - I just wanted to comment on getting it after already giving birth. I had pit after giving birth. The nurse said it was to help the uterus go back to normal size. No one really discussed it. They just hung it for after birth. Luckily I had an epidural so I really didn't even feel the pit.

As for induction (in response to some of the questions as to why some of us are given a date), it was a consideration for me at 39 weeks due to advanced maternal age. There was a large study that said the risk of really bad things happening for women of AMA started after 39 weeks. I could cut that risk in like 1/2 by induction at 39 weeks. Of course, I never made it to that point. At 38 wk 1 day I was contracting and hit 8 cm. At that point, they broke my water as they felt it was too dangerous to send a woman home at 8 cm dilated even if my contractions were not that strong.

eshute June 11th, 2013 06:52 PM

Re: Conflicted
In response to the pit question - I had pit after my c-section. It's pretty standard here and they still pushed on me to make sure it was working.

Karry - I'm a first timer, but I can only imagine how scared you are with your last experience being so rough. I hope that you go into labor naturally and don't need it, but even if you do - you got this!

MerinSun June 11th, 2013 10:13 PM

Re: Conflicted
After having gone through two inductions and then a natural birth I can firmly state that anyone in their right mind would be scared ****less. It HURTS. I'm so friggin scared of labor now that I told DH if we try for a third I WILL demand an epidural asap. The only thing I can say is that now you know what to expect. And you know the pain will end.

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