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utexas10 December 1st, 2013 08:41 AM

Stressed out friend
So I have this friend that had her first baby about 2 months ago. Before getting pregnant she said she wanted 12 kids. After getting pregnant she went down to 2. And now she doesnt want any more. Everything has become so negative with her. I have never heard her say one positive word about her baby. Instead, she always calls it the "little dictator" or other similar harsh names. I have tried to be supportive through all of this but she seems to be pissed that I don't hate my child. She is also angry with me because I go 18 weeks of maternity leave and she only gets 12.

last night one of our other friends got married. She shows up with the baby because she refused to leave her with a baby sitter and her mom was out of town so she couldnt watch it (even though the bride and groom were very clear that they did not want kids there). Throughout the night she was sullen and angry about everything baby related. She also told this story about how they had just flown back from Chicago (where his family lives) and that his family was angry because she would not allow the baby's cousins in the same room with her (they werent sick, she just refused to let toddlers near the baby). I kept my mouth shut but I was thinking--Hell you just had the child on a plane. you can't get any more germs than that so 2 healthy toddlers arent going to do any harm. Anyways, after being sullen and angry all night the topic of her maternity leave was brought up by one of our friends. She said she only gets 12 weeks and so I asked when the 12 weeks is up. She snaps back with "I dont know. Why don't you just shut up. You and every other *** hole that wants to tell me how bad its going to suck to leave the kid." (which I wasn't going to say because I thought it was great to go back to work part-time and get some adult time).

Anyways, I have tried to be supportive but I think this might have been the last straw. Has anyone dealt with this before and do you have any suggestions?

ThaiSpice December 1st, 2013 08:52 AM

Man...sounds like she's having a tough time adjusting. I wonder if she's got some postpartum depression. I don't know, but it sounds like she's lashing out for some reason. Is it out of character for her, or is that her normal personality?

jen747 December 1st, 2013 04:28 PM

Re: Stressed out friend
^ That's exactly what I was going to say and ask.

utexas10 December 1st, 2013 04:51 PM

Re: Stressed out friend
I thought possibly post parturition depression but as time goes on I feel that her issues are self inflicted. For example-she has a vein issue that makes nursing extremely difficult and painful. Like she cries in pain every time she nurses. Yet she thinks she's supposed to nurse so she refuses to quit. IMO at some point the pain and lack of bonding/extreme hatred of your child outweighs the benefits of nursing and you should stop.

She has always been negative but it's gotten 10 times worse since she got pregnant. I know she weaned herself off of her depression meds before she got pregnant and she had been on them for 10+ years

nameetog December 3rd, 2013 12:58 PM

Re: Stressed out friend
Sounds to me like she needs to be back on those meds. I am sorry she is treating you that way. I wouldn't stick around for that and I'd tell her why

ThaiSpice December 3rd, 2013 03:55 PM

I agree--sounds to me like she needs the meds. I hope she can realize that!

Twirlbird December 9th, 2013 04:32 PM

She sounds miserable and definitely sounds like she needs meds and some therapy.

Motherhood is a brutal job, and I worry for her baby if she has that much anger. The first 3 months suck, but it sounds like this is way beyond that.

And sometimes nicknames are dickish lol. I'll say my kids are being jerks, or my 2yo nickname is The Tiny Tyrant Lol.

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