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NewlyMrs March 27th, 2014 01:31 PM

Mama check in
Now that we've all almost had our babies 1 YEAR how are you feeling? Do you feel back to your old self? Do you recognize the person you were before?

I have to admit there are many days where I still can't believe I am a mom. After a year I thought this would be gone by now. Sometimes I feel an overwhelming pressure and responsibility for this little life. However most days are great and I can't believe there was ever life without him. There is seriously nothing anyone can tell you when you're pregnant that prepares you for what is to come.

Besides my completely deflated boobs and a little tummy pudge I feel back to myself physically which is nice. We'll see how I feel about it when I'm in a bathing suit next month haha.

Okay that was really long and rambling but I want to hear how you're doing!

rheaimedved March 27th, 2014 11:29 PM

Re: Mama check in
Q: Do you feel back to your old self?A: Not even close. le sigh.

Counting our Blessings March 28th, 2014 07:56 AM

Re: Mama check in
I have thyroid disease and mine is pretty tough to get regulated again afterbirth. I actually feel better hormone wise when I am pregnant...isn't that scary?! It also could be because I will be 40 this summer. I am still nursing, so no period, and we are sure hoping for another little one soon :smile:

Erin80 March 28th, 2014 08:41 AM

Re: Mama check in
I feel back to my old self again physically. I've been back down to my pre-pregnancy weight for quite a while. I am weaning right now though, so I'm expecting my boobs will shrink in size quite a bit in the near future and I now need to begin to watch what I eat because I will gain weight since I will no longer be making milk!

ashj_1218 March 28th, 2014 12:41 PM

Re: Mama check in
Physically....I'm good. Been down to pre-preg weight for a while. I just bought some new jeans because I am a bit below where I started and I didn't have a ton of pants that fit. My boobs are regulating size again, which I prefer. When I am nursing they are hard to fit in some of my shirts.

Emotionally....I'm a mess. I need to be on my meds again and I can't get Jo to sleep in her own bed, which means I can't take them. So I'm pretty unhappy and anxious. As soon as we sort out her issues with her ears/nursing strike, I am hoping to start working on getting her to sleep in her crib at night. But she has been so terrible with sleeping lately, I don't know if we are going to have success any time soon. I'm just a tad overwhelmed lately and have seriously started questioning whether I really want another child or if we should stop (but won't be making any decisions for a long time). Three is a lot emotionally, especially when they are all in a rough stage (now!!).

I will say that I remember this stage being hard for me with both other boys. So I think it's either a me thing or just an age thing. She is tons of fun and I am enjoying the time with her. I am enjoying seeing how different she is from my other two (not the gender thing, just the personality thing). But I won't be terribly sad when we can move on to bigger kid stuff and leave the clingy, non-sleeping stuff behind. I know an easier stage is around the corner.

jl046100 March 28th, 2014 01:07 PM

Re: Mama check in
Since I'm pregnant again i don't feel like myself at all I feel pretty crap most of the time hopefully after this baby since this will be our last I will finally get back to normal x

Elly M. March 28th, 2014 02:01 PM

Re: Mama check in
I'll start by saying I can't imagine life without my little man in it. He has completed our family, DS1 adores him, and he is DH and my sunshine. Chase is amazing, and I can't believe how blessed I am to have two amazing sons. Not a moment goes by that I am not amazed by my children, and I never take them for granted.

However, at the moment......

I don't feel like myself at all. This is the first time in my adult life that I am not working 1 or 2 jobs, training a few horses a day, fixing fences all day, and other farm work from sun up to sun down. I love that I am a stay at home mom, it's amazing. I wouldn't change it for anything. However, physically I feel weak, fat (sorry, but it's true), and too much like the stereotypical "house wife". There is nothing wrong with that, but if we are all being honest, it's just not "me". I was always the one working right along side the men, with my work boots, jeans, and spurs. Now I live in yoga pants..... A part of me really longs for the "cowgirl" as people called me, that I was not long ago.

I blame a lot of it on my knee. Having a torn ACL and MCL really holds you back. Now that I had the surgery, I can start to workout again in a few months. I was always very fit, weighing in anywhere between 120 and 130 at 5'7", right now I'm still at 150. I know that's not a big deal, but I have always had issues with self image. I have had issues with that since highschool, even when I weighed 112 (which at my height is too thin). So I am really struggling with my emotions over this. I don't even sleep in the same room as DH because I am ashamed of my body. Silly, I know, but it's something I can't overcome, even thoughi know it's ridiculous. So back to the question, mostly I'm great, I just need to get little bits of my "old self" back in time and find balance and patience.

Sorry to go on and on at my dirty laundry, talk about rambling, lol! It's just one of those days, and it felt good to get it out..... Sorry!!:o

kary4 March 28th, 2014 06:02 PM

Re: Mama check in
Ok, I'll be honest. I feel fat too. I can't get rid of the tummy bulge. With my first, it just melted off. I didn't even work out. With this one it's just there permanently. I have a muffin top and I hate it! I've never really exercised, just always been thin. I'm also 5'7" - I don't have a scale, but I know I'm not down to pre pregnancy weight. None of my clothes fit. I am nervous about wearing a bathing suit for our Florida trip - I got a ruffled tankini top to hide everything. This is the first year I'm not wearing a bikini! So physically I don't feel like myself at all. I'm also just tired all the time! Emotionally I feel pretty good. I am so in love with my baby girl - I can't imagine our lives without her. But I'm having a hard time keeping up with the house and daily chores, like laundry and dishes. I just can't seem to get organized or motivated!

Mrsbowbin March 28th, 2014 06:13 PM

Re: Mama check in
It's rough, in different ways than I thought it would be. The baby part is easy, I trust my instincts with him and we get through things just fine.....It's ME! I have been an independent person as long as I can remember and it's hard to not be working outside the house. It's much harder on our marriage than I imagined, we have had a 2 month case of the bickers about anything and everything. I have had too many post partum health issues to even remember and I feel so out of shape. I'm trying to find a place for taking care of myself in my life and some days its very difficult. I hope to get pregnant before the end of the year, I want the worry about if we can have another baby wiped out of my life forever. But, somehow at the end of the day when my bed feels like a cloud all I can remember is how grateful I am. I am exactly where I prayed I would be for so many years with a partner who always has my back and a little boy who knows I'm his mommy no matter how many people are around.

NewlyMrs March 29th, 2014 10:31 PM

Re: Mama check in
Can I just tell you all how helpful it has been reading all of your responses? Not that I am happy you are sharing my feelings on so many things but rather that I'm not weird for feeling this way. It's hard being so blessed and grateful for what you have and it the same moment think "holy crap this is really hard". I'm so glad we can be open and honest with each other. It is a relief to know we have each others support. I know my husband has my back 100% but at the end of the day only you guys know what it's like to be mom 24/7. And what it's like to come to terms with this post baby body. Ash, I'm so sorry you are having a hard time with Jo's sleeping. Ill be thinking of you and hoping it sorts out soon so you can feel better :)

kurly March 30th, 2014 08:59 AM

Re: Mama check in
I feel the same way. Even though I CHOOSE to be a stay at home mom, doesn't mean it's not hard. To go from working full time for 12ish years to being with a baby alone all day is a BIG adjustment. And I can't talk about it with anyone because I get the whole "it's been a year- you should be fine" looks/vibes.And I won't even go there with the physical. I have gained so much weight.

EverydayJoy March 30th, 2014 09:57 AM

Re: Mama check in
I am sorry for you ladies who are having a hard time right now. I understand! I still am struggling with depression and although I've had a good couple of days, I didn't feel I was able to reply to this post in the beginning, because I didn't feel I had anything good to say that day! I'm feeling more positive today, so it's easier to reply positively. On bad days, I feel like I just want to be ALONE for maybe a week with nobody needing me, talking to me, or asking me for anything. I get tired of bedsharing sometimes. I would love to have our bed back. But it's not really possible right now. I am feeling more positive right now, thanks to homeopathics, I am trying out some remedies under the advice of a homeopath and getting some success. So that makes me hopeful that things can get better, so that helps me feel better too. Ashlee, I feel ya on wondering about more. I'm sorry you're in a tough place right now. Wondering why you taking meds depends on Jo sleeping in her crib? Is it because of them making you sleep harder at night?

ashj_1218 March 30th, 2014 12:19 PM

Re: Mama check in
^^Yeah. Because the meds affect sleeping patterns (or can affect them), it's not recommended to bed share while taking them. I get weird dreams when I take them, which means it does affect my sleep. I don't know how many people think about it, I'm sure plenty of people take the same meds and bed share. But it's still a risk and I figure it's smarter to just get her sleeping in her own bed and then start taking them again. I just waited a little long to implement it and we are in a major sleep regression. I know she will pass through it. It really is the beauty of it being my third. I remember flipping out when Liam did this for a month.

For all you ladies dealing with the responsibility aspect, I truthfully think it's the hardest part of parenting. I think it's why my first was so hard for me. Adapting to that massive responsibility that changes every.single.aspect of your life and basically leaves you wondering what happened to who you "used to be" is so hard to handle. I still have my moments of struggle. Like when I was trying to do find a dress for an anniversary party for my husbands company and I literally had three failed shopping trips...one of which I didn't even take any children on (but K fell and busted his lip and we thought it might have had to be stitched. So I had to come home). And I thought to myself...this used to be so easy!! And now I can't even buy a freaking dress because my kids are nuts and I am such a weird body shape now. It's sobering. I wouldn't change my kids for the world. Not one second of my parenting would I wish away. But sometimes, it's just plain terrifying how overwhelming things are. But the love is overwhelming too, so I guess that is the benefit! I admit that there are still moments where I feel lost in parenthood...like my personality is gone because I am MOM and everything I once was doesn't matter any more. It's a tough gig, this parenting stuff!

mrsjl March 30th, 2014 04:02 PM

Re: Mama check in
I feel blah. none of my clothes fit. I think I am fatter now than I was 2 days after birth. I am still breastfeeding, so I am scared out of my mind to stop and gain more weight. I NEED to start anything physical. walking, even. it's just so **** hard when it's so cold and horrible outside. hopefully with the spring comes more motivation to get active. I also feel drained a lot of the time. so, so tired. the baby wakes up a lot still (not even always for "milkies", sometimes he just sits up in bed and looks around for me and crawls over to lay on me) and it's exhausting. sometimes he only wakes twice a night and the next day I feel awesome because it wasn't every 2 hours. anyway, I am happy having 3, he's a great baby and he completes our little family. DH has his consult for the big V in a little over a week, and the procedure should be done within a couple off weeks after that, so right around Thomas' first birthday, which is perfect.

MrsNHigh March 30th, 2014 08:36 PM

Re: Mama check in
I feel fantastic. I'm working and mothering, and I think I've found the balance. These two boys are my sunshine and joy. My husband stays home with Carter while I work. I feel great. I look around at my messy, disheveled house, my crazy boys, and my husband and feel complete.

Ryan and Alex's Mommy March 31st, 2014 10:46 PM

Re: Mama check in
I don't feel like my old self....I need to lose weight...maybe that will help. I feel tired and old.

LabLover13 April 1st, 2014 05:25 AM

Re: Mama check in
I am definitely pretty floppy/saggy/stretched out. I'm almost at pre-pregnancy weight, but it definitely looks different. I'd like to lose another 30 pounds to really feel good. DH is more attracted to me than ever, though, which is surprising. He thinks I'm superwoman! I won't correct him on that notion ;).

I honestly think being a mom to this amazing little girl is so, so cool. I feel like we've gotten into a good routine now. I do wish she'd not need to wake for a bottle in the night, but I'm ok with continuing it until she's a year, and then we'll try to wean. My favorite thing in the world is after I've fed her the 3 am bottle, and I pick her up to put her back in the crib, and she just curls her little face into my neck and cuddles me. It's the only time she sits still long enough for snuggles, so I relish it.

I'm working full time, and Claire goes to daycare. We found a really good home daycare near our house, and she absolutely loves it there. The only thing that sucks about it is that she catches every little illness. Right now, we're combating a nasty case of diarrhea which has led to some pretty severe diaper rash, so I'm working from home a half day and then taking the rest of the day off to be with her. It's just amazing watching her grow, and develop. Just yesterday she started waving bye-bye, and growls when I make a growl sound. She loves the "uh oh!" game where she drops things off her high chair and says "uh oh!".

I will say that one of the things I did not expect to experience was some moderate anxiety. I don't know how much if it is normal, and what's due to my ever-changing hormones...but I worry about everything. If I call my husband and can't reach him, I automatically assume the worst...car accident, etc. From what I'm hearing, it sounds like a lot of new moms go through this. I just hope it all evens out at some point so I don't have to go on meds.

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