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August 25th, 2010, 02:20 PM
swtneka's Avatar
swtneka swtneka is offline
Praying for a miracle
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hattiesburg, Ms
Posts: 7,723
Hello, My name is Sonica (30) and my DH is Jusitin (26) We have been married for 6 weeks but been together for 2 years. I have 2 children outside of this marriage. 1boy Serra (10) and 1 girl Khia (5). I have been pregnant a total of 4 times 2 live births one abortion (yes 4 months after i had my lil girl it was a one night stand and I didnt have the mental, physical or financial abitity to have another) and 1 mc. Each preg happen within the first month so I never thought I would ever had problems getting preg. When I met my husband I was not lookin to get married or have anymore children I had opted to get my tubes tied after my daughter but doctor was against it. My husband has changed my whole concept of on having children and bein a family. I have been a single mother for the past 10 years and here he comes and turn it into a family. He doesnt have any children so immediately we started tryin and long and behold i was preg within the first month! I was so excited because I was givin him what he wanted and I was actually happy being preg. Went to our first ob appt at 6 weeks everything is goin gr8! 2 weeks later had a ultrasound saw the baby and the heartbeat measuring a week over expected dd. We were so happy started buyin maternity clothes and baby clothes even bought a baby bed. through out this preg i was gettin a eerie feeling like something wasnt right but kept sayin it was me being peranoid just w8n for the shoe to drop nothing could be this perfect. I wasnt sick when with my other preg i was sick the WHOLE preg. The only symptom i had was goin to the bathroom alot but now i notice i do that alot lately. Anyway woke up one mornin and I felt ok. I wasnt sick i wasnt tired i wasnt nothing I felt my stomach and i didnt feel the ball that i use to feel in my pelvic area but again just shook it off. Went to work feeling gr8 everybody at work even said i seemed better that day. I was doin some extreme work that day lifting heavy stuff on my feet for hours at a time. I picked this one thing and i felt this pullin sensation so i put it down. I went to the bathroom and i noticed pink blook when i wiped. only when i wiped. I wasnt sure if i should worry bout this so i talked to my manager and she was like yea u should go to the ER. I saw my bf at the time and told him he was like yes lets go when i was in the ER i honestly didnt think that i was mc cuz when i heard of mc i heard of excessive bleeding and crampin and i wasnt havin any of this. The only time i saw blood was when i wiped. They did a ultrasound and I thought everything was ok i saw the baby movin. Me and bf was talkin bout how i need to take it easy and then the doctor came in and coldly said "yea the baby is dead" I didnt process what he said but when i looked at my bf he was cryin and i was like w8 what. y u cryin. He said the baby died ba. I just was in a daze i was in mis belief. i wanted them to take the test again. i didnt want to believe it! Before I knew it they was wheeling me to L&D to do a d&c. They came in told me that my baby died at 8 weeks so it had been dead in me for 2 weeks. thats when i got upset bc I just had a ultrasound not even a week ago and the baby was fine it was measurin at 9weeks and 3 days so dont tell me it died at 8 weeks. I got so upset they had to put me under and when i woke up my baby was gone. I remember wakin up askin the nurse what happen to my baby and she said "it wasnt a baby it was just tissue" I screamed at her sayin it wasnt a baby to u but it was to me and i just started cryin all over again. It was the most horifiy time in my life. I was so unsure. I thought my bf at the time was gone leave me like the baby. I was a mess. My bday was 10 days later and my bf dragged me out the bed to at least see light. That night he proposed. They told us we had to w8 at least 2 weeks b4 bdin again but we did that night cuz i wasnt even bleeding. I didnt bleed at all! We decided to start tryin right away. I got some ewcm bout 3 weeks after the d&c and my usual o pain and started bding like bunnies when i got my period i was shock that it didnt happen but wasnt disappointed cuz i knew that it might be 2 soon. When it didnt happen after a few months i started worring wondering what could be wrong. Thats when i joined you ladies at JM and found out so much helpful information. like tempin and opk's I started tempin and notice that i didnt o like i use on cd 10 i was not O'in cd17-22 and my lp wasnt 14 days anymore it was 7-10 days. I want to thank u ladies bc I have learned so much info bout my body that i didnt even know at all!!! After bout 6 months i went to my ob and told him bout my short lp he prescribed prometrium 100mg didnt work at all then he prescribed clomid 50mg and prometruim 100mg i did that for 2 cycles and I o'd cd 10 i was excited i thought my body was goin back to normal my lp was 12 days but it wasnt enough to get me bfp. I stopped the clomid and prom and in a couple month later it went back to o'n cd15-19 and lp 7-10. After some research i came up with i def have a imhormanal balance something is off. I even think it has to do with my prolactin all the symptoms fit. I went to a RE and he tells me that he wants to run these test to see if my hormones r off but he also wants to start me on clomid and prom again at a higher dose. I got extremely mad cuz i dont think i need clomid i just need u to take care of the hormonal stuff first lets see where my numbers are at b4 you go str8 to clomid. The reason y is cuz my insurance wont pay if they put me on clomid. I honestly believe that I am o'n its just the horomonal stuff that is keepin it from implantin. I know with all my heart from my symptoms that I get preg i even have tooken test that came out positive but then get my period days later its just that my baby cant stay implanted cuz it dont have the nutrients it need to stay attatch. I been TTCing for 18months and now I am seeing another OB who is goin to run the test next week and he is goin to c what the test say b4 he starts me on clomid again. I am so nervous I so badly want to give my DH a child of his own bc he takes so good care of the 2 we have now and I love him so dearly for acceptin them as his own. every month he thinks i am preg and it hurts my heart to tell him I got my period. He is a trooper and i know that its hurtin him as much as it is hurting me. I sometime feel like less of woman and wife because i cant give him a child. It hurts my heart and sometimes i push him away bc of it. i dont mean to be this way but everynite he rubs my stomach and i push his hand away cuz it just reminds me that nothing is in there. I talked to a psychic and they all say that i will get preg by the end of this year once i get the medical help that i need and it will be a girl. I even got a reading from Cheri and she says the samething so i am optimistic. Only time will tell.

Last edited by swtneka; February 5th, 2012 at 04:46 PM.
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