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September 15th, 2010, 09:40 AM
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Daisyfields Daisyfields is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
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Originally Posted by Rachel View Post
I'm not trying to be mean or rude and forgive me if I come off like that, but I have to wonder...

Do you ever have anything nice to say about your DSS? I mean, I've been reading here longer than I've been posting here and I just sense so much resentment coming from your posts. And honestly, I think you're projecting your feelings onto your sons about their brother.

I really don't want to upset you Chantelle, but I have to be honest with you.

And to answer your question, we generally have always bought the Halloween costumes for the kids. We buy new each year because they would take them home to their moms and we'd never see them again. Of course, we buy cheap costumes from Walmart, so it's usually not more than about $30 lost. This will be Will's last year TorTing so we'll only have Clayton & Daniel to worry about. In past years, I have gotten Daniel's costumes just after Halloween at Kohl's on clearance for under $5.00. I didn't do that last year, so I've been searching yard sale sights and ebay for something for him.
You are permitted to your outlook & if you believe that I do not like my own step-son then that's your opinion, however, you couldn't be more wrong. It is upsetting that someone is drawing that conclusion but you don't truly know what's happened to me like some of the gals on the board.

There was a time that things were complex between us, he pushed me away b/c he thought I was trying to substitute his mother, but as he's grown over the years & seen how that's not the case, he's let those walls down & we're very close as friends. I never pressured anything w/ him. No forced hugs or gatherings. In recent months, he's sat w/ me, had many heart-to-heart talks, and given me hugs & kisses
things that I can't really articulate but to the best of my ability, it's been a huge thing. My kids are grateful that they at last have their brother around, and so am I, it's nice. We have a lot of challenges, which is strange, b/c most married couples who've been together as long as me & my husband, these issues would have come up a long time ago, but they're only coming up now, b/c only recently, have things come up in that my DSS is now spending the night w/ us. Never in the past did those things happen b/c he refused to spend the night w/ us & his bio-mom refused her ex (my DH) visitation, even though legally she couldn't, she decided to do what she wanted. We never had to worry about the kids comparing errands, or items that the others had or didn't have. I have almost zero issues when it comes to my DS & my ex (his bio-dad) b/c it's been years. I can talk to his wife better than I can talk to him actually. There's no issues that can't be resolved. Only recently have I talked to my DSS' bio-mom, we've yet to build a connection which I've always been open too but I never in a million years thought I'd be there/here. I guess Rachel, had you been around in the past few years & known the situation regarding both myself, my DSS, how he wasn't around, the conditions as to why, the horrible heartbreaks, the tears shed, watching your husband cry b/c he can't see his own child due to a bitter ex-wife, you'd identify with why things are the way they are today.

Your analysis is only from a surface, not from one that is understood as a person who truly knows all that has happened. Get to know me, my situation, what has happened, and then, feel free to come to a conclusion on what you think I am, if it is rude, & call me names, but until then, I think it's a little impulsive to call me
rude when you don't really know my position. Just like I don't know yours. But I wouldn't sit here & call you names or pass judgment based on surface information. Perhaps a PM would have been a better way to communicate that sort of observation, it's just not very pleasant thing to say to someone, especially if you're trying to help them. It's more hurtful than helpful. Sorry...

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