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September 16th, 2010, 10:30 AM
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Daisyfields Daisyfields is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
Originally Posted by K.A.T View Post
Umm sorry but it's not obvious, hence my asking if it was or was not. I'm not in your home, I did not have the conversation with the child, so I would not see it as obvious.

You can either take my advice into consideration or ignore it completely. The ball is in your court.

I'm not sure why your responding this way. I'm very confused. Either I'm communicating wrong or your reading wrong but I'm not trying to be mean at all so... sorry you feel that I'm trying to make you feel as if things are obvious (which I never said to you) or that I wanted to take or ignore your advice. I'm truly confused about this reply. Don't get it. Out of left field for me. Sorry.

Originally Posted by Rachel View Post
Here's what I think. You can tell DH or talk to DSS's mom about it or have DH do it, but you know what? It's not going to change one thing she does. She told him to piss you and DH off. She wants you to make a big stink about it because, guess what? She wins.

I think you should let it go. You can't change how she parents and what she tells him. What I would say to your SS is that you're sorry that his mom involved him in grown up matters and you're sorry that he's upset about what his mom told. Tell him that whether those things are true or not don't matter at this point since it's all in the past and you (as a family) like to live in the here and now. Move on or she's going to make you nutso.
ITA, why else would she be so candid to her son knowing that he's speak like a canary? She has to know that this would somehow come back to us. Either way, the part that puts a thorn in my side is getting a child in the middle of an issue. That's wrong. If she is upset, angry, jealous, what ever her issues are, you don't use a child to get a point across. The kid now has to hear about how his father did a certain thing when he was a child, to me, that's just slandering him as a dad, even if it was true at the time, it's not who he is, today, and it's certainly not affecting his parenting style now.

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