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September 16th, 2010, 10:47 AM
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Daisyfields Daisyfields is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: In the enchanted forest
Posts: 5,257
Quote:
Originally Posted by My2miracles View Post
Not saying we can't - that would be nice. People do post feel good posts here as well both Chantelle & I have in the last couple of months because we've actually got to spend time with our stepkids and it went well. But the majority is venting and/or figure out how to deal with a situation regarding our blended families - not usually positive situation because they don't need figuring out.

It's great to know we're not alone. Just because it's negative doesn't mean it's not good - I mean it's therapy Plus it great to know that you aren't the only one who feels a certain way or goes through things. Our friends who aren't part of blended families just can't understand.

I love this board because when I posted about my situation with my dh's dd on another parenting board, I was treated like evil incarnate. How dare I not like an innocent child? It's not her fault yadayada. Even though she almost wrecked my marriage I was supposed to love her and allow her to abuse me & my children. I came here and got a ton of understanding and support because the ladies here got it.

Unfortunately usually the struggles outnumber the wins And when I've tried to post off-topic threads, I've gotten no responses. Perhaps I'm just not good at it I hope you can get it going more because this is a great group!

Just like Kris said above & Tiffany said below, we can't always CHOOSE the way things turn out, and in a perfect world, it would be...well...perfect, but it's not. It's out of our control, and can get messy, ugly, and frankly, miserable. It's nice to come to a place where people "get you"...which is why I've always felt like I've had a place to come & talk. I started to post after a brief time away & all of a sudden I'm being judged by a couple people who don't know me from a a whole in the wall that I don't like my step-son or that I'm negative about him. I'd like Kris & Tiffany to answer that, am I a step-mother monster who doesn't want my step-son in my life? And...up until recently (literally), I never saw my DSS, only recently has this child been coming to our home every other weekend, and it's a brand new thing, literally. I'm happy & so are my other kids. I feel like she's up to something (bio-mom) but I'm hoping she had a mental slap across the face of reality & realized that this is the way it should be.

Then I just get another "vet" who decided to be again, judgmental of a comment to a thread that I posted. Again, I'm being singled out. A place I once felt "safe" to vent, has now become a place that I'm feeling judged. Why? We all have our own issues, no one is perfect, and if I wasn't dealing w/ a life threatening medical condition, I would still be hosting as I did for several years. My medical issues are so erratic, I wasn't able to be consistent anymore.

I'm just glad that I'm not the only person that is not full of candy canes & marshmallows b/c it's not reality, especially in a blended family.
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