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June 28th, 2006, 08:02 AM
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Rina42308 Rina42308 is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 2,991
Hi ladies, ok here's the deal. We're having a party to celebrate our marriage which happened on 3/17...kinda like a late reception. It's in a few weeks. The invites went out and we stipulated "adult s only" because of the type of party it's going to be...we have limited space for only 100 people, we paid the additional charges to serve a very nice dinner, have wine on the tables, and an open bar. Well I'm getting backlash of course...first my mother whom insisted my cousin must bring her children and so does my sister (mind you we went to a wedding a few weeks ago and my sister had no problem finding a baby sitter and said she did so because "it's an adult party and I don't want the groom paying such an expensive amount for my kids who won't even eat the dinner"...but yet to me she doesn't care). My mom finally stated she would pay for the children so I gave in. Then last night I got a very long e-mail from DH's aunt(by marriage) whom I met once 2 years ago for probably 30 min...the e-mail went on and on about how she can't believe we're not allowing children and what are they suppose to do, blah blah...she further made it worse informing us that DH's g-ma was coming (whom we didnt invite because DH hates her) and also commented on some of the issues we are having with DH's family. Recently (with out making this a really long story) Dh's sister and I had a huge arguement and then 3 days later she came out with some disgusting, horrible untrue accusations. I don't want to give all details but his mother and brother essentially took her side and so we have stopped talking to them completely. Please believe me when I say it's "cut them out of our lives" worthy. Now no one knows the whole story because we don't think it's anyone's business but this freaking woman writes me, essentially judges me and says "do you want to start your life before God united or divided with your family"? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR...
So DH is gonna call his uncle and discuss this with him. I couldn't even sleep last night. I told Dh I do not need this right now with planning this party, working oertime to get days off for the surgery, and having surgery on Friday! Plus dealing with all the emotions that come along with the surgery...brings up so much about the m/c's, the last surgery, etc... if I had more energy and less really important things in my life than maybe I could take the time to appease this woman...but I don't! Believe me when I say I am not doing this because I don't like kids (you all know me I want one so badly) but I am a believer of some events being for adults, like an elegant dinner with alcohol. Also the issue is that there is such limited we want to sacrifice a friend whom is greatly involved in our lives and who would enjoy celebrating with us in order to have Dh's half uncle's 3 and 5 yr old there????
I know some people get "offended" about this kind of thing but you know, It's our party, we're paying for this 100% ourselves and breaking ourselves to do so. There are so many people that have added to our lives, helped support us through all our ups and downs...who will continue to be a major part of our lives, THATS who we want at this party....and unfortunately many of his family memebers have chosen to not be in that group, hence the non-invites to begin with.
Anyway I hope you all don't think I'm some greedy, child hating, mean woman...i swear I'm not. If we had more money and more space it wouldn't be such a big deal. but we don't. And afterall isn't this suppose to be our day?
Thanks for listening...I have really enjoyed this board and all the feedback that comes through here so that's why I chose to post here. Even if you'll don't answer it just helped to vent...I hope you don't mind?
Mommy to miracle baby 4/23/08 and four babies in heaven:lost 3/22/05 edd 10/28/05, lost 5/25/05 edd 12/26/05, lost 1/31/06 edd 9/19/06

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." -Margaret Mead
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