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March 16th, 2011, 08:08 PM
sodagirl sodagirl is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 1
Originally Posted by shen7 View Post
I know that many of us have complications that make it likely we'll be induced or need a c-section for the baby's arrival, you will probably think I'm crazy for all of this and I won't blame you at all... but for those of us who aren't in that position, is anyone else going for a natural childbirth?

I have always wanted a natural childbirth. When I first started TTC, I even researched unassisted childbirth! Of course after the experience of my ectopic (almost dying of internal bleeding, saved by emergency surgery and transfusions), I'm a little more cognizant of the care I would require in a bad-case scenario!!! Needless to say I will be in a hospital with an OB. But I still really want to avoid any interventions that aren't medically necessary. If I am lucky enough to remain low-risk, I am planning to avoid going into the hospital until I'm in serious active labor, and then to decline epidural or labor augmentation unless it's absolutely required.

I am quite set in this plan. However, I also struggle with feeling like I'm "asking too much" and I shouldn't allow myself to hope for more than survival of myself and the baby. Sort of like how, in the beginning, I was afraid to hope for a viable pregnancy and all I would allow myself to hope for was an intra-uterine pregnancy rather than a repeat ectopic. These feelings keep me sort of "honest" by reminding me that the REAL goal is a healthy baby, and a NCB would be a wonderful gift but is not the most important thing. But at the same time, I think: I don't just want a NCB for myself, I want it for my baby, I want her to be alert and ready to root for my breast when she comes out. I want the best possible conditions for immediate bonding and breastfeeding. What's wrong with wishing for the best for my baby? Anyway, you see how I go back and forth arguing with myself!!!

I also wonder if some buried trauma from the ectopic might come out and interfere with me staying relaxed and trusting my body during labor. I have tried really hard to work through my feelings and truly trust my body more, but I don't know if it's enough. I'm hoping that my Guided Imagery and Affirmations tracks, which have helped me so much during the pregnancy, will help me a lot if I need it during labor as well (there are special tracks just for labor!)

Can anyone relate to any of this? Has anyone had a NCB in the past? Was it before or after your losses? Did your losses affect your later birth plan or experience?
Ok first of all - that IS NOT ASKING FOR TOO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just want to hug you and jump up and down and scream - asking to have a natural child birth - to have our bodies and our babies respected that way - is our RIGHT!!!!!!! it is not a request, a hope, a demand - it is nothing short of our basic human right. The most sacred and vital part of our womanhood. Survival - that's the MINIMUM. You are not asking or hoping for anything extra - ordinary.
Second - I was born 2 months premature - NATURALLY - because the doctors didn't want me compromised by the drugs. Really - a NCB - IS doing the safest best thing for your baby. It is NOT some risky extra request. (PS. I don't think it's bad to have other options - I'm not knocking medicine - I think western medicine is wonderful - and all the interventions are fantastic when necessary )
So - my experience -- I had a all natural home birth with midwives. It was AMAZING!!!!! And I absolutely recommend it. In Canada - they come prepared with stuff to deal with mom or baby emergencies - they can deal with hemorrhage - they can deal with breathing problems etc. My baby did end up having a problem breathing and they took perfect care of her and we got her to a hospital. -- her problems had NOTHING to do with her birth place or any complications - they were just 'one of those things' It would have happened wherever I was - and I'm glad she didn't have any drug complicating things - and I'm glad I didn't do anything like induce early to put her at risk. Honestly - if you don't have any special problems you are safer at home with a midwife (yes I have research I can post to back me up on this lol)

As far as dealing with past losses. I did feel like I had to let go of that. In really early labour (on the Monday - she was born on Friday) I had a really big cry in the shower. I also refused to labour on the toilet. - that reminded me of miscarriage. I've read that having dealt with the pain of miscarriage actually makes labour pains a bit more manageable. From personal experience - I'd say it felt SO different. I knew I had a baby coming - it was happy and exciting and beautiful.

I hope that helps a bit. Yes - I'm a bit um - passionate about all this. I would be more than happy to chat with you about it all. You will have a fantastic birth! (((hugs)))

Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!

mom of 2 angels and an earth baby
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