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April 8th, 2011, 07:00 PM
♥womanintheshoe♥'s Avatar
♥womanintheshoe♥ ♥womanintheshoe♥ is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,036
Lurking...bored on couch rest so checking out other boards/posts.

#1: Didn't get epi because I was told that labor was "uncomfortable" and I figured it couldn't be all that bad. Um, yeah. My mom lied. When I finally yelled for an epi I was 10cm and ready to push.

#2: Didn't get epi because I had more practice for childbirth and thought it would make a difference. Nope. It hurt just as bad. Again yelled for drugs but was fully dilated and pushing.

#3: Decided on epi as soon as the stick showed two lines. I was terrified at the thought of needles and such but when I breezed through transition in a matter of minutes and pushed without so much as a twinge of pain I was in heaven. And, for the first time in 3 babies, I was able to bond with my new baby rather than struggling in a fog of overwhelming pain (I am NOT one who immediately forgets the pain of childbirth!). It was an amazing experience and I wondered why I had not chosen the epi the first two times. But then...

#4: For some reason I still can't figure out I wanted to naturally. Maybe I wanted to impress some people in my life, I don't know. Got to 6cm, water broke, dilated like crazy, no time for the epi I yelled for. Decided to never go natural again.

#5 & #6: Partial epi - loved it!! Far better than a full epi, could feel contractions but no pain, felt baby being born but no ring of fire. Greatest experience ever. But then...

#7: New hospital, new friends, time had passed since my last natural birth, figured I give natural another try. Stupid, stupid, stupid me. After a one-contraction transition and immediate pushing I went into a state of almost shock. I closed my eyes and wouldn't open them for 20 minutes, wouldn't look at/hold my baby. It was horrible.

#8 & #9: Full epi, awesome labor experience (no pain), easy-peasy delivery, I smiled through it and laughed, I cared that I had a baby and actually remember every detail rather than only remembering a haze of pain.

I didn't bond with my babies after natural childbirth. I didn't want to hold them, nurse, or even move. I don't remember the tiny details after my natural births that I do with the medicated births. I've never forgotten the pain, I've never had a "high" after a natural birth. I feel like someone needs to scrape me off the floor, like I've been flattened both physically and emotionally. I feel guilty for feeling like I do especially when my pain only lasts for a few minutes (literally, that's how fast I go once I hit 4-5cm). But I think that because my labors are insanely out-of-control fast that I cannot cope with the pain; even my midwife, when I was considering a homebirth last time, said there wouldn't be much to help someone who dilates like I do. So an epi is what works for me.

FWIW, my unmedicated babies were sleepier after birth than my medicated babies. So I've never worried about the effect of drugs on my baby.
One-time "I'm NEVER having kids!" woman to mama of 11. Love living the beautiful life I thought I never wanted. ♥

Also missing 11 precious little ones here with us but for a moment.

VERY cautiously expecting after two losses early 2013. Hoping and praying my Valentine's Day due date baby sticks this time.
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