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April 10th, 2011, 09:45 AM
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ohnicole ohnicole is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
My DH and I had decided that if everything looked good at our u/s last week that we would tell our families that I was pregnant. His parents happened to be coming to visit this weekend, so we made our announcement.

They were definitely excited- they are constantly making comments about if/when we have kids, so I know they are happy and excited. But MIL kept saying things like, "Well, you are only 8 weeks, so we will wait another month or two before we really get excited." Or, "Well, you lost the last baby at 12 weeks, so you have another 4 or 5 weeks until it is safe to get excited." Or, "And did the doctor say that nothing bad is going to happen with this pregnancy?" Or, "Make sure you take care of that baby until it is safe in a month or two."

I know they didn't mean anything by it. They are worried just like us. But it is our baby. How does it makes sense to basically keep telling a pregnant woman who has already experienced a loss, "You really shouldn't be excited at all because your baby could die at any moment." Because I don't know that my baby could die at any time? Am I just supposed to be sitting here in constant terror, paralyzed because I am obsessing that my baby might die?

I'm trying really hard to stay positive, and so far I am really proud of how well I've been doing. But this few weeks between 7.5 weeks and 12 weeks is when our angel's heart stopped beating, and I know that it is going to get harder and harder to keep the fear out. As soon as the u/s was over I could tell my DH felt less worried, but I started having moments of panic. I really don't need anyone constantly reminding me that my baby might not make it.

Besides the fact that there is no "safe" time when the baby is magically guaranteed to come home with us. I have an increased risk of late loss from my clotting disorder, but no one seems to acknowledge that. I guess I didn't get the memo that when you get past your loss date everything is magically fine.

This is so long, lol. I guess I kind of wish now that I could spend my whole pregnancy in a bubble, just being happy and not listening to anyone else. It might be denial, but it works for me.
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