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July 25th, 2006, 07:40 PM
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beck12 beck12 is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
I knwo it's hard dealing with a MIL that isn't warm & fuzzy - but sometimes it is part of the package. My MIL & I have butted heads a few times & despite being a generally outspoken person - I do my VERY best to mend fences quickly & keep my mouth shut. In hte end it is HIS mom & she raised him. If she is totally toxic that is one thing - if she's a bit of a buttinski - that's another. Over time hopefully most of this will be ironed out - but until then try to make friends. He only has his mom for as long as she is on this earth & the last thing anyone should want for the man they love is hard feelings with his family(I am NOT suggesting you want hard feelings - I see you want to make things good). I am not saying she is right - what I am saying is try. If she gets upset - do your best to say that isn't how you meant it - it is simply an issue that someone else is throwing you a party & you can't really dictate how the party is to be thrown, in the same way - you would never dictate a party she threw. In the end - what everyone wants is to have a good relatiosnhip - so keep that in mind as you have your interactions with her. Before responding to anything - think of the goal of having a good relationship (with some boundaries - yes it's possible ) and try to react lovingly & working toward that goal. I know it feels overwhelming & I would tell ya a story or two that I have dealt with except the post would be too long & get on a tangent about me. Just trust me - I have seen DIL & MIL wars - and NO ONE wins!
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

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