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June 18th, 2011, 01:12 AM
soon 2b mommy of 4 soon 2b mommy of 4 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 46
So recently my family and I moved in with my in-laws due to financial issues on our side and theirs to kind of help everyone out. That is all going well, no complaints there. The issue I am having is that I moved 80 miles from my OB so I have had to select a new one. I really wanted to go all natural this time around and use a mid-wife but I have been turned down by 3 of them due to my high risk of postpartum hemorrhage, I have had this happen with my last two births that were pretty severe. I required a D&C and transfusions. So I need to use a doc and deliver in a hospital should an emergency like this arise. Any who, a part of me really feels that the intense use of pitocin in my last labor was the main cause of the hemorrhage, no one has ever been able to tell why this has happened only to say uterine atony. Which basically means my uterus was tired. Although I want to go natural a part of me is really scared that should I hemorrhage having someone manually massage my uterus without the epidural sounds incredibly painfulÖitís very painful even with one. Mostly I am just scared of all the what ifís. Living with my mom in law and not having a relationship with my bio mother is also taking its toll. My MIL is totally for going natural and breastfeeding and the whole bit, and I feel like if I donít do these things I will be letting her down. Iíve always been a people pleaser but this is weighing very heavily on me, she wants to be there for the birth which makes me feel like if I decide to get the epi, I will be this huge disappointment. I just donít know what to do, I feel like I canít say yes Im totally going natural when a part of me still thinks an epi may be a good choice just because of my medical issues. I know for sure I do not want pitocin used until the end to help the uterus clamp, but more than likely if I get the epi it will slow down labor and then they will want to start pitocin. I know for sure I can get to an 8 without the epiÖIíve done that twice and then really only got the epi cause it was offered not because I was in pain, my goal is to labor as long as I can without it and then go from there. With my last births once my water breaks the babies are out within 40 minutes, so maybe thatís all I need. I donít know I am so lost and confused right now and rambling. Any advice/thoughts/suggestions are welcome, just needed to get some of this out there. Thanks for taking the time to listen.
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