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June 20th, 2011, 04:28 PM
GSLynn GSLynn is offline
Keepin' it real!
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1,656
Originally Posted by IsisMoon89 View Post
My period is 2 days late and I have already had 4 positive pregnancy tests. I will be going to the doctors tomorrow to hopefully confirm with a blood test. I'm so scared. I am 21 and my boyfriend is in the Marines. Money and housing isn't a concern but i'm just so terrified. All my life I have had a horrible fear of pregnancy and i'm so scared of how my body is goung to change. Do you still feel like you? Are you able to breathe? Just...pregnancy has always looked very painful to me. I don't understand how you can still breathe and move and walk. I have this extreme fear of not being in control of things and an extreme fear of pain and unknown. I should be happy or at the very least not filled with terror. I have had tokophobia for as long as I can remember. I want to keep this pregnancy but i'm just so terrified and have no one to go to for advice. I live on my own and have no female friends or relatives with children that can ease my fears. I just feel so lost and scared.
First, I am sorry you are faced with this.

Second, it might help to seek out help from your doctor and see if you can find a support group with other pregnant women who have fears similar to yours.

Third, it's completely normal to be scared of being pregnant and with the condition you have, I imagine it's amplified, so I sympathize with your situation. I planned my 1st child and was terrified of everything from morning sickness, to miscarriage to getting bigger to labor & delivery. Luckily, my daughter was born quickly and healthy and there are lots of options out there these days.

Remember: Your body will grow slowly, especially for a first time young mom. Second, you will have some control over your body: You can still eat healthy, you can still exercise (if OB clears you) and still live a pretty normal life. Even in the last part of pregnancy, as long as you have a normal pregnancy, you can do most things pretty normally. You'll be short of breath in the last several weeks, but you can still breathe. Your body is MADE for this and so your organs will move and adapt to your baby's growth. Labor and delivery IS painful, that's not a lie. BUT do not let other people's horror stories scare you. (I DID, until I realized that many people embellish to keep someone listening to them). Most labor and delivery is pretty normal. There are options so that you can manage any pain you have (epidural, narcotic medications, hypnobirthing, water, etc...) You don't have to go through a terrible experience. You can also take Lamaze or other classes to help prepare.

I'll tell you, this is my 6th pregnancy and 5th delivery is coming up soon (2 m/c's and one set of twins---#'s can be confusing if I don't explain this). I am a little more nervous this time, I don't know if it's because this baby isn't biologically mine; I don't know if it's because of the risks of having more than 3 pregnancies plus wanting to do a vaginal birth after c-section (VBAC); I don't know if it's because of a story I read of a surrogate dying in child birth. I couldn't tell you, but I am a bit more nervous....
SO, don't feel badly and try to get to know a few people from one of these groups so that you dont feel alone. It will work out and you will be great at being a pregnant lady (and then mom). Just tell yourself this EVERY DAY.

Remember you haven't done this before, but most of us would never continue to have kids if it were horrible. And in my case, in fact, I don't know ANYONE who would carry a baby for someone else if their experience was terrible; so it does show that a happy, healthy pregnancy/delivery can and is more than likely to happen for you.

I wish you the best of luck and continue to post and gain strength from those positive things you can find here on JM. And Welcome.
Mom to many

1 Girl 2011 and 1 Boy 2013. Their family is COMPLETE!

Surrogacy # 3 for new family?: 2014??

Last edited by GSLynn; June 20th, 2011 at 04:31 PM.
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