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November 21st, 2011, 08:33 AM's Avatar is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southeastern, USA
Posts: 11,407
I've been reading a few books on Stillbirth and one of them stated that after experiencing such a loss it's like you automatically join a secret society that you never wanted to be a part of. I am finding that to be more and more true, so I've decided to come here to tell our story and to find/give support

It's been 3 weeks since we lost our daughter. She was born still at almost 33 weeks gestation. She was 4lbs 12oz and 16 inches long. Her name is Finley Fayth and I miss her more than words can say.
During my pregnancy there seemed to be a few complications. At 19 weeks we were told that my fluid was low and we were referred to a specialist. Around 23 weeks they noticed some swelling and abnormalities in her heart, they told us to prepare for her death within the week. She held on. She was a fighter. At around 30 weeks we were given hope. We met with a fetal cardiologist who told us her heart was perfect. We started to prepare to bring our little girl home. We were happy.
Then on Friday morning, October 28th, we saw that our little girl no longer had a heart beat.
I was induced on Saturday morning. After a long, painful, and traumatic (physically) labor our sweet girl was brought into this world. She was born into a room full of people who love her and think about her everyday. It's a tragedy that no one should experience.

Now I am here. Still trying to navigate "life after". It's harder than anyone can imagine and so confusing at times.
How do you answer people who ask, "Where is you baby?" or "I thought you were pregnant?". I know people mean well and feel awful when they find out. How do I tell them without laying the weight of the world on them?
How do you answer when people (acquaintances) ask how many children you have? In my mind I have 2 children, but I don't want to drag them unnecessarily into a dark place. Has how you answer this question changed as time has gone on?

eli grey [9.15.10]
jude lawrence [11.9.12]
forever loving our best girl, finley [born still 10.30.11]
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