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November 21st, 2011, 02:34 PM
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littlebeansmommy littlebeansmommy is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 695
My responses do change depending on the situation I'm in and whether I feel like elborating on my story. I usually say that I have 4 children, and will even give ages when asked, omitting my angel's age in the count. I'm usually given a strange look but most people don't ask any additional questions. If I feel up to sharing my story, I will give full details that DS was stillborn.

As for the questions about what happened to the baby or weren't you pregnant, it definitely depended on my frame of mind on any given day. I found it worked best for me to approach it with the truth. I was honest about the stillbirth. Uncomfortable, yes, for both the person asking as well as myself, but I felt (and still do feel) like he needed to be acknowledged for the sweet baby angel that he is. It became very important for me to have him recognized as my child and I still become urked by when he's not even today.

I think most importantly is to figure out what feels best and works best for you. It is hard to become a mommy in this secret society. It's hard to watch life move on for everyone else when you are still stuck at that moment when you were blessed to become a mommy in this society. As time goes by, you'll find yourself with standard answers you give that you are satisfied with.

Finley sounds like she was an incredibly precious little girl.
DS #1:

My precious angel DS#2:

My rainbow DS#3:

My Princess #4:
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