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August 18th, 2006, 05:10 PM
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beck12 beck12 is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Michigan
Posts: 12,330
Sweetie - I don't knwo if you cope my shutting down & wothdarwing -but it's hte LAST thing you need to do here. This is a place to share - whatever that is.....the good, bad & certainly the ugly side of what happens often after loss - especially so much loss. I have had times literally exactly like you describe - where I so badly don't want to accept that I must do something (like go away to the confrence) and act like I am in total denial that I need to do something...thus the 20 min packing. I think it is soooooo normal. I have gotten up in the morning at times & sat practically comatose until 10 mins before I need to be out the door & still haven't moved an inch to do something to get ready. What you are experiencing - including hte hope that they are wrong & the babies are still there - is all part of grief. If it has come to a point that the burden is such that it is rippig you apart - an antideppressant might be just what you need to catch your breath & have a little peace. I even thought about taking them for a while after my 2nd loss - and I was scary to myself at times & I had a GREAT Dh that was kind & supportive & a sis that was there for me anytime & the ladies here... From what I understand - you don't have even close to that much support & I am so incredibly proud at how you have handled this & carried yourself & now it is time ot care for yourself. Please share with us whatever you want anytime - PM me anytime - IM me all the time - you get the idea. We ARE here for you - no matter what... and we are very very proud of you for having the courage to keep sharing your story & keep putting one foot in front of the other!
B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet

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