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March 14th, 2012, 05:17 AM
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MindyRambo MindyRambo is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Quebec, Canada
Posts: 839
Originally Posted by Teacup3 View Post
I just discovered I'm 5 weeks pregnant and I do not want to have an abortion for a reason I can't explain. The father and his family want me to have an abortion. They are Chinese and abortions are not taboo to them as they are to Americans (one child policy). My family also wants me to have an abortion because I'm at the cusp of my career and they are afraid being an unwed mother would ruin my advancement potential by tarnishing my reputation, limiting my working hours, and may even get me fired. All of our friends think it would be better if we abort it, too.

My boyfriend and I had been living in Washington DC for the past seven months, but I decided to break up because I wanted to move back to the midwest to be closer to my family. He begged me to stay, asked me the marry him, but I hated DC. I left DC 4 weeks ago and started a new job at a large, prestigious law firm. And then found out I was pregnant.

My ex-boyfriend and are are both attorneys. We make six-figure salaries. We are well educated, successful individuals from good families. I am 27 and he is 33.

My ex-boyfriend said that if I have the child, he will quit his job and move to the midwest to be a part of the child's life. Joint custody 50/50. But said he will resent me and the child for leaving his job in DC, his family in DC, and for forcing him into a situation that could easily be avoided through the abortion pill. He said he will hate me forever and we will bring a child into a broken home. He said this ******* child will be shunned from his traditional Chinese family. He said it's selfish for me to base this decision on what I want because this child's birth will affect our entire family and our jobs where people depend on us. He said having this child out of wedlock will ensure it grows up in an toxic environment.

We are both Atheists, so none of the religious arguments sway me. But I just cannot bring myself to do the abortion pill in two weeks. I feel connected to this child. I feel abortion is a waste of potential. This child could have so much potential to do great things. But I know bringing this child into the world will ruin his life, and make my and our families life incredibly difficult. How selfish am I being by wanting to keep this child?

I really need some feedback.

If that's the case and he knows how his family is, at 33 years old he should have known better than to have unprotected sex. He should resent himself, he must have known this was a possibility.

Go with your instinct hun, it does not sounds like you want an abortion. And toxic environment? If it was so toxic, why the marriage proposal? Why was he your boyfriend? Sorry but he sounds like a total jerk, and he's trying to guilt you into something you don't want to do.

You think the only people who are people, are the people who look and think like you, but if you walk the footsteps of stranger, you'll learn things you knew... you never knew.
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