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July 7th, 2012, 02:47 PM
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colette20 colette20 is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 1,614
After all that... let's move on to something a little happier

With my PCOS I often had a weird pattern of AF coming 7-9 late randomly, and on occasion 7-9 days earlier than expected (who doesnt love 2 periods a month?? ), so a missed period didn't seem like a missed period to me. I was late, but figured my pattern was once again playing games, and I would get it eventually.

I got sore boobs, but had light cramping, so I was soooo sure AF was coming. Everyday I would tell myself, "feel those cramps, she'll be showing up tomorrow!" and the next day would come and go... after 9 days of this, I figured I was having a big swing in patterns and began carrying tampons with me everywhere I went, not knowing when it would finally show... My ex was teasing me, saying "You're pregnant, you know that right?" and I would get upset, knowing I couldnt have kids, and ask him to stop, as it actually hurt me a lot to know that wasnt a possibility.

I started throwing up, and this only happened twice in 24 hours, I work for hospice, and am in and out of nursing homes and assisted livings all day, I figured I picked something up from one of my facilities.

Then friday rolled around, at this point my period is 13 days late. I started to wonder if I was stressing, and that was holding my period back, as that has happened to me once or twice before. The ex had been pestering me (still!!) that I was pregnant, so I decided I would pick up a test that night, take it, and when it was negative, he would be quiet and I would stop stressing and finally get AF to show up... But as I walked into the gas station for my friday coffee, the smell made me want to lose it right there.... THEN my brain started in: Maybe you ARE pregnant.... You hear about these miracle babies all the time, maybe you're lucky....

Work DRAGGED on that day, lol. I bought some tests, and had decided I would take them the next morning... then I had to pee.... so I thought, what the heck? Lets just do it, there are two tests anyway, take one tonight and one tomorrow....

Well, it only took about 10 seconds for that to show up, and I started yelling! The ex wasnt home, but my cats came rushing in, wondering what the fuss was about!!

I didnt know what to do. I felt like jumping out of my skin. That was NEVER suppposed to be me. I had long given up on having my home kids.. and there I was! I flew out the door, pee stick in hand... and found the ex to let him know...

I still have trouble believing I am actually pregnant... I think thats why I lurk a lot here, without getting too involved, I feel like I dont belong here! Every time I get a scan or hear the HB, I am in awe that there is an actual baby in there and I am on the road to motherhood... I have been conditioned over the past 10 years to think it would never happen... Im trying hard to shake myself form that and be more active here and at home too... baby steps, right?

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