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October 14th, 2012, 01:13 PM
chickadee chickadee is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,154
I think I know what thread you're referring to, and I'm sure my post is one of the ones you're referencing as giving false hope. I understand how you feel, but I don't think of it as giving false hope. As someone who has had multiple losses and still has not yet held a baby in their arms, that's not something I'd ever want to do. You're right that spotting/bleeding can be a sign of a miscarriage, but it's also true that it's not always the case. Maybe as much as 50% of the time it's not the case (at least, that's the statistic my OB gives me - I'm not sure I think it's quite that high). I've had three losses and one viable pregnancy (this current one), and I've had more on/off bleeding and FAR more persistant uterine cramping with this pregnancy than with any of my losses. I was terrified my entire first trimester with this pregnancy, in part because of my losses (and how hard I had to fight to get pregnant to begin with) but also because I was cramping constantly and had bleeding episodes for several weeks before I learned the cause was an SCH. It was VERY helpful and reassuring for me to learn that not all early pregnancy bleeding means a miscarriage. Granted, I was a ball of nerves before this pregnancy even began, and it only got worse when I lost the twin early on, but I think I would have been pretty close to non-functioning through those first 13-14 weeks without the knowledge that seeing blood didn't automatically mean I was losing the baby.

I would never suggest to anyone that their bleeding/spotting/cramping means nothing, because it has sometimes meant miscarriage (or an otherwise non-viable pregnancy) for me in the past. Depending on the description someone gives in their post, though, I may respond and let them know that bleeding isn't always a sign of a miscarriage - that there are other issues that cause bleeding, and pregnancies may still be viable even with bleeding. Depending on what is posted I may also share information about losses and how those presented for me. Basically, I'll offer whatever info I have at my disposal if I think it could help someone understand what *could* be happening in their case, because when I was going through both my losses and the early part of this pregnancy I wanted as much information as possible to help me make sense of what was occuring. Everyone is seeking different things when they post on a forum like this, I suppose; I just try to offer what was most helpful for me.

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