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October 15th, 2012, 06:25 PM
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TaraJo29 TaraJo29 is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,755

I just read this the other day! That's funny. I actually sent the whole article to my friend and he said it was basically a bunch of hogwash because the author makes it out like "grave" is totally relative. He said to read the approved literature and manuals to learn what "grave" actually means as a Catholic theological term. Of course, we are very new Catholics and I have no idea what "manuals" he's talking about. I haven't asked him.

I definitely agree with the author that 1) we need to be really careful about judging other Catholic's reasons for using NFP to avoid because we don't know everything about their life, nor is it our business, and 2) the Church can't make a list of every grave reason because the details vary too much.

However, it does seem like we should be able to find out what "grave" means (more than just 'serious'). My friend says this is a technical term. But even if we did, I don't know if that would tell us what a grave reason would be *to avoid pregnancy* in particular. For instance, we know we have a grave duty to feed someone who is starving, if possible. But having that example of "grave" doesn't tell me what "grave reason" would be to avoid pregnancy. Even when you talk about threat to life, it gets very complicated. How much of a threat? How big of a risk? Do you have to *know* beyond a reasonable doubt that you will die or the baby will die if you get pregnant? What if you will just be a high-risk pregnancy because of one factor? What if you have high-risk factors, but you will have good medical care? Do we need a "grave reason" to just space children out a couple years or more?

If I get pregnant I will actually be a high-risk pregnancy on 3 accounts: 1) I will almost certainly have gestational diabetes again (enough to require meds, too), 2) I had a c-section last time, 3) I'm a grande-multi para (had 4 or more kids). In a few years, I will have another risk factor because I'll be 35. But I can't see the future. I might be able to have 5 more kids and all will be peachy! So you see what I mean about theoretical risk. How do you go about determining when the risk is so much that it becomes "grave"?

Me confused. I just don't want to be living in sin because we are using NFP to avoid when we don't actually have a grave reason. Knowing the criteria would be helpful, ya know?

Let me know if you happen to know what "manuals" he's talking about, and which ones would be relevant to this question.
Mom to Titus (12), Isaiah (10), Noelle (8), Joel (6), Hannah (4), Elijah (1), and baby due Nov 4!

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