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November 15th, 2012, 04:01 PM
TexasEMTB TexasEMTB is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 11
Am I going crazy? I am so paranoid and scared of miscarrying my baby that I can't even get excited about my pregnancy. First my progesterone levels were low, then all the drama that started at my job (apparently my pregnancy is offensive to my higher ups) and now I'm going back to work on the ambulance after trying light duty (nope can't do it) and everyone keeps saying "be careful!" "do you know what you're doing?" "do you understand the risk you're taking?" "why don't you just stay home until after the baby (apparently it's 1952 AND we won the lottery and no one told us) I find myself afraid to move, afraid to cough, to sneeze to even breath too hard. I woke up in the middle of the night (to pee...again) and realized I was laying on my stomach and thought "oh my god I killed my baby." am I the only one going through this craziness? I can't find any peace of mind. All I feel is fear. I've had a couple of miscarriages in the past, my daughter who is now five was very premature, this baby is our miracle after being told IVF was our only option, after failed fertility drugs, we just conceived out of nowhere with no drugs, no charting, nothing. It was just a surprise. A gift I guess. My whole family, especially my parents, are so excited about this baby. My beautiful little sister was murdered this summer and it nearly killed all of us. We all so desperately need some happiness again. I think maybe I'm just waiting for God to take my baby like he took my sister, I don't know. Anyone having these fears? When are we safe from worrying about it so much?
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