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December 9th, 2012, 04:30 PM
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Frozenoj Frozenoj is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2012
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Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
I see a big difference in it though. A child has a dream, a faith, and a hope in a fat man who slides down a chimney. People come along and blast those dreams with "there is no santa, your parents are lairs."

Not believing and being told there is one, isn't dashing hopes and dreams. I really don't see the big deal to just smile and say "that's great!" Why people feel the need to crush someone's happiness I will never understand. And that's not just restricted to Holidays. You aren't lying to a child who's excited about Santa coming if you just smile and nod.

And if you don't believe in Faith, that's your choice. But I really think it's cruel to try and break someone else's, especially a small child.
I'm not going to go around telling kids there's no Santa! I feel like just because I'm not going to tell MY children Santa is real that I'm seen as the bad guy. I'm mean, I'm going to crush people's happiness, dash their hopes and dreams, break someone's faith, tell them their parents are liars. I would never do that and have said before that I wouldn't. If other people want to pretend Santa is real for their kids that's fine. I would never tell a child Santa doesn't exist unless they asked me. Then I will say I don't believe in him because that's the truth and I'm not going to lie to your kids.

We will talk to our kids and explain that other kids believe in Santa and that it's not nice to tell them he doesn't exist. But I'm sure there will be instances it comes out because they are kids and say stuff they shouldn't sometimes. That doesn't make them bad kids or us terrible parents. That is what I have a problem with, people acting like we're going to be terrible parents because we won't play the Santa game. People acting like our Christmases won't be fun. We won't see joy on our kid's faces. Our Christmases won't be "magical". Our kids are missing out on the most awesome part of being a kid and that is because we are meanies.

My point with the lying, is that it is by definition lying to tell your children Santa exists and leaves them presents under the tree when you know full well you are the one doing it. The definition of lying is "
a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive"
, which is exactly what is going on. Not all lies are bad. Some are justified and sometimes lying is the moral choice to make. So just because you lie to your kids doesn't mean you are bad parents. I don't think any of you guys are bad parents. Any hostility I have is because of the way we are treated because we won't do it, it's defensive I guess.

I also don't think letting your kids decide what they believe is lying. In fact if our own kids decide they want to believe in Santa anyway I'm not going to keep harping on the fact he doesn't exist. I won't pretend he does exist, but I won't force them to believe he doesn't either. There is a difference between trying to convince someone Santa exists (even sometimes when they already have doubts) and just letting them believe what they want.

I'm sorry I said anything at all after my first post just saying what we will do. I've been dealing with the worst cramps of my life this week and I'm also on the highest dose of Clomid you are allowed to be on so I'm sure that's making me come off worse than I mean. I'm really not trying to say you guys are doing it wrong. I just want my choice to be acceptable too. And I guess I probably took some of the things you guys have been saying the wrong way. And I do kind of take issue with saying Santa is a "belief system" and equating that to religions and stuff.

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