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December 10th, 2012, 01:46 AM
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Originally Posted by Frozenoj View Post
I'm not going to go around telling kids there's no Santa! I feel like just because I'm not going to tell MY children Santa is real that I'm seen as the bad guy. I'm mean, I'm going to crush people's happiness, dash their hopes and dreams, break someone's faith, tell them their parents are liars. I would never do that and have said before that I wouldn't. If other people want to pretend Santa is real for their kids that's fine. I would never tell a child Santa doesn't exist unless they asked me. Then I will say I don't believe in him because that's the truth and I'm not going to lie to your kids.

We will talk to our kids and explain that other kids believe in Santa and that it's not nice to tell them he doesn't exist. But I'm sure there will be instances it comes out because they are kids and say stuff they shouldn't sometimes. That doesn't make them bad kids or us terrible parents. That is what I have a problem with, people acting like we're going to be terrible parents because we won't play the Santa game. People acting like our Christmases won't be fun. We won't see joy on our kid's faces. Our Christmases won't be "magical". Our kids are missing out on the most awesome part of being a kid and that is because we are meanies.

My point with the lying, is that it is by definition lying to tell your children Santa exists and leaves them presents under the tree when you know full well you are the one doing it. The definition of lying is "
[COLOR=#222222]a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive"/COLOR]
, which is exactly what is going on. Not all lies are bad. Some are justified and sometimes lying is the moral choice to make. So just because you lie to your kids doesn't mean you are bad parents. I don't think any of you guys are bad parents. Any hostility I have is because of the way we are treated because we won't do it, it's defensive I guess.

I also don't think letting your kids decide what they believe is lying. In fact if our own kids decide they want to believe in Santa anyway I'm not going to keep harping on the fact he doesn't exist. I won't pretend he does exist, but I won't force them to believe he doesn't either. There is a difference between trying to convince someone Santa exists (even sometimes when they already have doubts) and just letting them believe what they want.

I'm sorry I said anything at all after my first post just saying what we will do. I've been dealing with the worst cramps of my life this week and I'm also on the highest dose of Clomid you are allowed to be on so I'm sure that's making me come off worse than I mean. I'm really not trying to say you guys are doing it wrong. I just want my choice to be acceptable too. And I guess I probably took some of the things you guys have been saying the wrong way. And I do kind of take issue with saying Santa is a "belief system" and equating that to religions and stuff.
You're entitled to do things your way, and I'm not putting you down for it. Just the way you said it made it seem like to me you don't like to play along. Your family and friends need to back off, it's your way. But at the same time, as the "parent" of a child who does believe it really sucks to have people (kids and adults) tell him "you still believe in Santa? you know it's your parents right?" I'm not going to ever tell someone THEY personally have to believe, but is it really so difficult to just keep a trap shut around a kid who does? (I'm not saying YOU do this personally)

Even people with no religion tend to have beliefs and traditions that don't have anything to do with religion of any kind.

My husband is very anti religion. But he's very pro-holidays. He doesn't care what the full meaning behind it is, his little boy's face lights up at the mention of Santa, or the Easter Bunny and cupid. That magic and happiness is what matters, and people do go around and try and dash children's happiness.

Again, not saying you specifically do, but I see a really big difference in playing along vs ruining a child's happiness. I don't believe in God, but I'm most certainly not going to tell a child that their parents are lying to them and that there really is no God.
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