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December 10th, 2012, 06:18 PM
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iamkc iamkc is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Montana
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Yes. I suffer from depression to begin with (I've been hospitalized for it, have "missed" months here and there, and so on). I also have severe anxiety. With DS1, I didn't recognize it as anything different from "normal" depression. I had no one around to help, and I assumed that everything I felt was just being depressed and overwhelmed. I almost died from bleeding and a kidney infection 3 weeks after his birth, so I thought that that contributed. When he was 3 months old, DH was laid off and we moved in with his parents. Again, I assumed that this was just another part of the problem (and it was, but not to the degree that I was feeling). It wasn't until I started feeling better, when he was almost a year old, that I realized what was going on. When DS2 was born, the birth itself and the events afterward were so awful that when I realized that I had PPD again, I was universally told that "anyone would be depressed with what's going on with your child". It was so awful. I had to "chin up" for a couple of years, worried that my kid was going to die, that I was neglecting the other one, that I was going to die, that I couldn't pump enough, that no one was helping or listening, etc.

I'm already having some issues, so I'm worried about PPD. I'm trying NOT to be worried since I have so much else to worry about, but we'll see. I've already decided that I'll be talking to the doctor tomorrow about it, maybe put me on something now to help. I'm not a fan of meds in pregnancy, but there are safer things to take, especially at this stage, and I think that having me be a kinder, gentler mother and wife will be worth more than the low risks involved. This would give me a little time to let it build up in my system, too. We'll see!

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