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December 14th, 2012, 10:18 AM
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snlemon snlemon is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 6,657
This is my third baby. Third *possible* attempt at an NCB. To be honest, I'm pretty sure it's not possible for me to have one...and based on my last experiance in birth (my epidural wore off) I don't think I want one anyway....

But I kind of do. I've never gotten the epidural because of the pain (I mean, yeah it's super painful, but I can keep going), it's because I'm deep into active labor with no progression. As soon as I get the epi, BAM, I progress. I'm talking like hour 12 of active labor, contractions on top of each other, can't move, can't talk, want to bear down, waves of naseua, etc and I'm only 3cms.

I really want to at least experiance an NCB. I want to experiance the recovery of one. I just feel like I should be able to achieve that especially since I can tough out the pain...

I've tried everything. Hypnobirthing, Bradley, etc. I've read every classic birth book ever. I've watched all the movies. I have a deep desire to experiance this. I have an incredible support system-- a midwife in a very NCB friendly hospital (I have complete freedom in labor, intermitten monitoring, no iv, etc). I feel like everything external is there for me to do this, but something inside me is broken...and broken in a non-obvious way. I can't look back on any of my births and feel like the system failed me, or my care providers, or even my mental state...just something between my head and my cervix is wired wrong.

I do have a very strong pelvic floor (never leak urine before or after and this is my third baby). And I have a hard time relaxing my bottom under *any* sort of discomfort, even slightly. So I've been working on that this time, even though it makes me feel weird and out of control to relax that part of me. lol. But I don't know how much that will help in the throes of labor. Hypnobirthing didn't go so well in labor, lol.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone had any experiance with this? Anyone have a suggestion? I'm looking for anything. And to be clear, I have no issues with getting pain desire to have an NCB is kind of like the desire to run a marathon...just something I want to experiance and feel like I should be able to...and of course, ideally, it's healthier for baby and mama.
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