View Single Post
January 6th, 2013, 03:04 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar
ashj_1218 ashj_1218 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
I think GranolaMama makes some great points. There are lots of things to consider when it comes to closely spaced siblings. I have them. And they were planned that way, but it doesn't come without sacrifices and even parenting issues.

I, personally, am a bit more laid back and don't have too many issues having them close in age. I actually love Babywearing both of of them (sometimes together, sometimes they take turns). I enjoy having two littles in my bed in the early morning hours (although we are bed-introducers, and both boys spend most of the night in their rooms). I think I am pretty good at rolling with the punches. Although I admit the lack of sleep has taken a toll on me. Neither of my children have slept through the night until well past a year, which means I have slept all night about 10 times in 3 years. For me, personally, that is where I struggle. It's tough to maintain gentle discipline, lots of patience, and energy when functioning off so little sleep. It's a pretty common thing for nursing kids )and AP kids in general (although I am more of a middling-AP parent than anything else). So if you know sleep is a huge issue for you, I would wait a bit in between. It's tough to balance who needs you in the middle of the night when you are a zombie yourself (those moments when one wants to nurse and one threw up from coughing are brutal...especially when both want/need MOM!)

But really, I think there are benefits to it as well and those are what appeal to me. I, obviously, thought it was worth the downfalls because my first two are 22 months apart and my second/third are going to be about 19 months apart. I enjoy the interaction, I love doing similar stages together, I think my body is actually coping rather well with three pregnancies so close together. I have been blessed with fairly easy pregnancies and relatively simple births. I am lucky that my body tolerates it all pretty well and I haven't had problems with nutrient deficiencies or health. But I know for some women, it is a real concern.

I totally agree that you don't realize how much of a "baby" an 18-month-old really is until you have one. It seems so "old" compared to a newborn. But in reality, they are so young. And if you remember that they still need lots of nurturing and babying themselves, it will help a lot. My aunt had boys 11 months (yes, 11 months) apart and always kicks herself for how hard she was on her older boy once her second came along. She said she remembers expecting him to suddenly be independent and he just wasnt (cause he was a baby himself). So it can be hard not to expect too much out of them at that age when you have a new one. But I think most kids are really more "baby" than not until almost age three. Just recently do I see my oldest as a "big boy." But I did make an effort to not make him "grow up" to be the big brother when his little brother came along. I guess my aunts warnings were taken to heart!

Either way, I am sure you will do fine. Moms have an amazing way of coping with almost anything
Reply With Quote