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January 20th, 2013, 12:53 PM
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BabyBirdies BabyBirdies is offline
a sibling!
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Los Angeles!
Posts: 1,883
Having moved a lot (even between Canada and the US as a kid), I understand a little of what you're going through, and I wanted to chime in, even though I'm not in your DDC.

There are a couple of things that you're dealing with. One, the cost of living thing is making you feel like you will never get out of your cruddy living situation. I get that. We rent in a very small apartment in NYC for more than twice what my parents pay for a 4bd/3ba house. We have to be here for graduate school, so it is what it is. The thing is, what you're talking about with the great schools, etc., is why you pay so much. It's tough, but it is what it is. Maybe you can talk to a financial planner to get a solid plan about how long it will take to get enough money for a house? Something so you know what the end goal is? Another thing to consider, depending on how bad the situation is, is how much a 1- or 2-bedroom apartment would be. It will slow down your savings some, but it might be worth it for the peace of mind, and to keep you from making decisions that you might regret later (i.e. leaving the good schools and your family)

The other situation is your friends. That is partially about disappointment - you figured coming home you wouldn't have to worry about the making friends part of moving, and turns out, you do. Those friends aren't in the same place as you, and that's okay too. So now, think about ways to meet people who are closer to your life-stage. Someone previously mentioned a mommies group, and I think that's a good way to go. Even a group for new people to the city or something might be good. It's hard to put yourself out there, and you're unlikely to meet exactly the right people you want to be friends with right away, but I do think you can make inroads into the "feeling friendless" aspect.

Many of us have been there. I hope you find your way soon!
Jessica, Raif, Penny and expecting #2!

Two years TTC with #1 followed by a surprise BFP, born Dec. 2014
NTNP for 6 cycles, due Oct. 2016!

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