Topic: Thoughts?
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February 15th, 2013, 10:04 AM
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Keakie Keakie is offline
Learning to walk in faith
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Near the land of cream cheese
Posts: 5,617
Can I ask why your df hasn't had a custody/visitation schedule finalized with the court?

I know that a lot of people want to believe that they can co-parent peacefully without spending the time and/or money to have it legalized, but really, the structure and peace of mind that it brings is absolutely worth it. Having a legally binding CO not only protects EVERYONE involved, but it outlines clear parameters for things like visitation schedules and child support payments and offers recourse if the other parent doesn't want to play ball (i.e. if they had a visitation schedule, her refusing to allow him to see the kids would be a violation and she would be putting herself in contempt of court). Going for support is great and it's a good start, but it offers her protection and gives her a method of recourse against your df, but it leaves her completely unaccountable for her denial of visitation, etc. and that's really not fair to your df or the kids.

I know you mentioned they were never married, either. I'm not sure about your state, but in a lot of places unmarried fathers have no default rights to their children even if they're on the birth certificate. In theory, she could pack up and take the kids wherever she wants to and your df would have little to no recourse. I'm not trying to scare you, but it is really important that everyone's rights be put into writing to prevent that sort of thing.

*Excitedly expecting baby girl number two!*

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