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February 27th, 2013, 12:51 PM
Umm Nasir Umm Nasir is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 2
Hello. I am expecting my 5th little one. I have precipitous labors. My children are now 9 yrs (2/4/04), 5 yrs (11/2/07), 4 yrs (2/20/09), and 2 yrs (10/8/10), and last but not least EDD 4/22/13.

#1 was average, but a bit quick. He was about 10 hours. I was approximately 8 cm when I made it to hospital. Natural delivery (UNINTENTIONALLY). However, I labored at home and didn't even really realized I was in labor until it was almost to late. I walked through my house like a mad woman searching for her marbles. I was in and out the shower and constantly trying to poop, because I thought I was badly constipated. (I had constipation issues because of the iron supplement I was put on). I handled the pain well for a first timer.

#2 doesn't really count because I was so sick of being pregnant by 37 weeks I asked for an induction. They induced me @ 38 wks & 5 days. But still, he was only about 8 hr (considering my body wasn't ready to deliver.

Now for the QUICK labors... #3's labor was less than three hours long. Again I was impatient with pregnancy and took castor oil around 39 weeks 5days. I ended up a poopy mess with a delivery in the elevator LOL! By now I realized I had a pretty high threshold for L&D pain, because I only realize I'm in labor when I'm transitioning. I was asleep when my body woke me up and I was like uh-oh! I'm in labor!!! UH-OH!!!! I have to PUSH!!!! I drove myself to the hospital (husband was on the road -CDL driver). That was about a 15 min drive (doing about 95mph on I-95). I fussed with the OB triage nurses that I had to push. They would not listen to me, because I came in and was only 3cm dilated. They were reluctant to check me when I asked. When they did finally "get around to it" I was (as I suspected) crowning! I gave them an I-told-you-so look glare LOL. As they rolled me upstairs to the delivery suites I pushed the BIGGEST HEADED (think of Kazoo from the Flinstones <3) I had ever had.... On the elevator.... I signed my admitting papers after delivery LOL. I was probably in OB triage for about an hour before delivery.

#4 was actually quite "fun". Given my history, I knew what to expect with this one. My midwife joked that I should camp out at hospital parking lot my last 2 weeks. I don't think she was joking LOL. (I live in a state where providers are not allowed to deliver at home. Babies must be delivered in hospital or birth center). Again I woke up in the middle of the night with the urge to push. I called my mother-in-law who was my babysitter (husband was again over the road). I knew by the time she got there I was probably going to deliver in the car, so she called 911.

Here is where it gets funny....

So the dispatcher tells her to tell me to go outside and wait for ambulance. I do as told. Within the next 5-10 mins I see a fire truck rushing down my block. I look from side to side wondering "Where's the bloody fire!" When the pull up in front of MY HOUSE I was sooooo pissed. Smh. I cursed those poor men out to no avail! I remember calling them stupid fools, insolent dogs, dishonorably discharged medics (yes, I am from a military family).... The list probably went on. I preceded to ask why the ambulance didn't come?!? Why are firemen here?!? WTH?!? All of this was during contractions and they were holding me up, rocking me back and forth, and rubbing my back. LOL! They assured me the ambulance was on the way. They were able to get to my home first AND they had the equipment needed for keeping newborn safe and warm. I said cool. Seconds later the ambulance arrives. They were a crew of 3 or 4. The driver was a woman, and then the men were in the back with me. I believe that 2 of the guys were vet emt's but one was a rookie. And boy did that rookie make me giggle. Once I was on the truck they checked to see if I was crowning. I was not, but only because bag of water was bulging out. Anyway, when the vet said he didn't see a head, the rookie let out an accidental "Thank God!" I looked up at him like "Seriously dude?" The other Vet smacked him sharply and yelled pull over and let the baby drive. Get the woman back here pls. She was in hysterics by then. She tried very hard not to laugh, but told me later that I was cracking SOOO many jokes it was surreal.

Okay. So now we are at hospital and the emt's told OB Triage staff what was up an said I was a pleasure to work with LOL. Thankfully my chart now read history of precipitous labors, so I didn't have to go through the hassle of fussing at staff that I HAD TO PUSH. Once on the hospital bed the ladies checked me. And all you heard was GUSH! And next thing you hear is she's fully dilated. I reply, "Honey, I've been 10 cm for like 20 mins!" So they rush me upstairs and in the process one of the nurses SLIPPED on my waters. LOL I WAS CRACKING UP! I told her "Oh no boo. You are NOT getting workman's comp because of us!" She blushed and the other nurses were ROFL.... Until we looked down and noticed blood. Now I didn't freak (I am/was a midwifery student) but of course they got concerned. Baby simply flipped in elevator to a frank breech position. Once they had me in delivery room, they yelled "Oh no it's a butt!" I'm like so what? They are saying call or and prep for section..... I remember saying "The hell we are!"

So now we are in the OR. I am bartering like I work for American Pickers (show on history channel). I tell them "Listen. I'm already prepped for emergency section. What's it gonna hurt if I try(wink wink) and push. They are like fine... They give me all these instructions and I'm trying to "professional" given my situation of NOT wanting major abdominal surgery and all they had to do is give me a good dose of drugs via IV that was already in place and I was in THEIR control. So I politely say I have to push, and my little boy SHOOTS out like a cannon. My OB called him "Popcorn" from that day forward. I remember apologizing to the anesthesiologist that he couldn't get paid LOL! They rolled me back to delivery room and that was that. Again, I signed my admission papers after baby was here. :-D
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