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March 14th, 2013, 07:38 AM
8forus 8forus is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 202
I just wanted to say that I was similar when I was in school. I always wondered if anyone would miss me. It was more of a case of the "I wanna disappear into nothing" rather than actually die - I just didn't want to deal with the teenage crap and wanted it over already. BUT my mom took something I wrote the wrong way. I was actually talking about running away in my poem (it was hastily written and tear-stained and shoved in a notebook that I had hidden) and she took it to mean I wanted to commit suicide. What a mess that was trying to explain what I meant and why I was just a hormonal mess but yet not share anything that was really bothering me.

From what you wrote about the incident that set off the statement - my gut says it was more of something like that rather than actually contemplating suicide. I get horrible ante-partum depression (depression while pregnant) and I have contemplated suicide during that time (it was being pregnant that saved me yet the same thing that caused the deep depression at the same time) ... so I know the difference between "wanting to just disappear" and "wanting to kill myself."

I hope that helps you!
Mama to a few:
L (5-21-88); Mi (dn, 8-29-91); A (10-27-91); I (10-2-92); Ma (dd, 4-17-94);
N (10-29-95); S (10-13-98); Le (10-28-00); C (3-7-03)

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