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March 15th, 2013, 12:09 AM
~ Nicole ~'s Avatar
~ Nicole ~ ~ Nicole ~ is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,925
Also I would highly re-consider using the brother's sperm. You may think now that is is ideal and harmless but these are situations than can turn ugly in the future especially once the child turns teen/adult. If you use a donor or the brother you MUST tell the child. I have done years of research into how donor/adopted people feel once they are teens/adults and I feel it is extremely deceptive and cruel to hide the use of a donor from your child. I think people have a right to know about their history whenever possible. You have no idea if your child would turn into a teen or adult and than seek to have a relationship with the brother because he is the bio father. How are you and your husband and the brother going to feel if 15 years from now your child decides they feel like the bio dad should also be a father role to her or she is angry about the situation you made her born into against her choice. I just think it can turn into a really bad situation. I know situations like these can work out happy but they can also turn ugly. I would avoid using donor from any family/friend at all cost and go anonymous. Your DH may be ok now but what if once it really happens he ends up resenting that his brother fathered the child and not him, maybe he will feel jealous. Just something to seriously consider. I know I would never get a donor in this way and if I were the child born into this situation I think I would feel really akward towards the brother who donated and also probably want some kind of father relationship with him also. More than half of all people born from donor grow up to wish they had a relationship with the donor. I would feel soooo uncomfortable getting a donor this way. I am not attacking your choices but I would seriously seriously think about this before you do it and thing BEYOND the cute new baby. way way beyond.

Me(35) DS(12) DS(14)

Last edited by ~ Nicole ~; March 15th, 2013 at 12:14 AM.
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