Topic: Big Dreams
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March 16th, 2013, 02:17 PM
shen7 shen7 is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
I think your family (lost) would have an easier time moving than most! So I could see if the other kids were totally into it and it didn't impact your careers at all, it could work for you guys. I think most families do have roots to their area though, or at least jobs they can't move away from. I want to stay where we are forever. We have my parents right here, beautiful weather, peaceful community, the ocean and scenic beauty, and my husband's really, really good job (which does entail significant face time at the office now that he has moved up into a management role). I can't imagine dropping all that just to give a kid a shot at hitting the big time in a certain sport. That is our family though.

I think because of my family history I have a much dimmer view of fame and glory in general, too, though. My grandfather was a best selling author, had a runaway hit at a young age, became very famous in his early 20s. It was a burden in many ways. He and my grandmother divorced when my mom was 3 because of his drinking and indiscretions. He later had a respectable career as a magazine writer and screenwriter (this is my family Hollywood connection) and remarried and I have all this family in SoCal from that. But they were so flamboyant whenever they had any cash, and then struggled to get by until his next break or whatever, and he was a difficult person to live with by all accounts. I think fame and "success" did him no favors. And the whole world of fame and being the next big thing (or not) - it is very superficial and does not bring lasting happiness, in my view.

I contrast my other grandfather. He grew up dirt poor and worked for his family from age 9. He moved out to California and built a very very frugal life for his family, working as a legal assistant/clerk/shorthand note taker guy, which paid little but had a great pension. He worked that job until retirement, taking orders and dealing with some pretty jerky lawyers the whole time. But he had a huge beautiful garden, made sculpture and pottery in a home made studio and kiln, retired at 62 exactly and lived in great health up to his mid 90s, doing everything he loved to do. Hiking, gardening, art, travel, supporting his pet political causes (especially environmental protection). I really look up to him as an example of how to live. He was an extremely just and moral and simple man, he always knew the right thing to do and always did it, just had a strong compass. He never was anything you would call famous or successful from the standpoint of sports, career or whatever. It wasn't like he tried to submit his art to galleries, he had little pottery sales and sold reasonably priced kitchenware to his friends and neighbors. But I would rather be like him. We still use his plates. I would rather my kids try to emulate him than to try to be famous or live large like some of my SoCal cousins seem to want to do. My other grandfather made some great things and people still love many of his TV episodes and so on, they are classics, but on a deep level I think he had a harder life. Knowing when to be happy with what you have is a difficult lesson. In our culture we value striving and "achievement" but I think sometimes we forget what we really want to get out of it in the end.

Sorry to go on a long philosophical rant M is taking a nice long nap this afternoon!

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