Topic: Angry.
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March 25th, 2013, 06:13 PM
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smsturner smsturner is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 3,884
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Today, I'm mostly angry. I'm really not being pleasant to live with right now. Thank god Dh is one of those really supportive understanding, patient men.

I feel angry at everything. I feel like throwing things and stomping and yelling.
I'm angry that I can't tell people what's all going on bcs there's such a cloud of secrecy around miscarriage (why is that??). I'm angry that this baby is gone. I'm angry that my body can't just do what it's freaking supposed to. I'm angry that this took FOUR freaking years, and now god knows when it will happen again.
I'm angry that everyone is having perfectly normal pregnancies. And it seems like everyone had an easy time getting pregnant. Even though none of that is true.
I'm angry that people keep telling me that everything happens for a reason. That god 'has a plan and this is part of it'. That we were just spared heartache because something would have been wrong.

I'm angry at my mom. What was her first reaction? "well, that happened to me too, and that's why I didn't tell people I was pregnant until I was four months" Thanks mom. I'll be sure not to tell you next time I'm pregnant. I wanted her here. And all she said was it's too bad it's so far. I know a three hour drive is far, but I needed her.

I'm angry at everyone for not hurting like I am right now. I'm angry at ME. Why can't my body be normal? What was it that caused this? Maybe it was me. I'll never really know. I don't even know if how I'm feeling is normal. Who knows with me?
Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan (15), ds Marcus (13), Our together miracle, baby Dean, 17 months

Crazy enough to try all over again for a second together baby! Hoping for a much less wild ride this time!

TTC with PCOS for 5 very long years. Annovulatory cycles. Multiple doctors. Different meds. One horrible loss. And then one wonderful success, born 2/18/14.

I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26/13
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