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April 6th, 2013, 03:25 PM
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FishermansWife4 FishermansWife4 is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,578
Hi. I'm Amber. DH and I have been together for 4 years tomorrow, married for 2 in August. I'm 11 weeks 6 days pregnant with my #4. I lost my Daddy almost 3 years ago. My mother was always abusive. My Me-Maw who raised me passed when I was 16 of systemic lupus. I don't have either parents in my life and I lost the only person I loved like a mom almost 9 years ago. I've adopted my friend's Mom & Dad and my Mother in law is around but we only see Father in law once a year, if that.

I have this awful cycle of being okay then being really upset about not having MY BLOOD family around me and my children. I know I should count myself lucky that I at least have my in laws, but it's not the same. I miss them so much with all my heart. It hurts day and night now. Sometimes I want to call my Dad and just say hi and I can't. Sometimes I just want my Me-Maw's advice about what I can do differently and she's not there. My DDC talks about announcing to their family and DH's family and I really have no one to announce to. I have very few friends and those that I do have are my family. Once again, it's not the same. I remember having a huge family growing up and I don't any more. I don't have people I can celebrate life's little and huge moments with that I REALLY want there. It sucks...

I really appreciate the space to vent. It just hurts so badly. I guess it doesn't help that I'm unmedicated right now and DH is gone for the next 6-8 months, so I'm pretty much alone. Sigh.....once again I appreciate the space to vent. I hope we all heal soon.
Amber Wife of Tim ; Mom to - (7) (4) (3), (2 months) and Step mom (9)

2013 Mommy
"No freedom til' we're equal. D*mn right I support it." - Macklemore "Same love"
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