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April 9th, 2013, 10:17 PM
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Stepmom2Be Stepmom2Be is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,202
Thanks guys. She called Owen tonight and then asked to speak to me. I had no choice. I tried to stay out of it. But when he said, "Hey mom, my mom wants to talk to you," I had to take the phone.

She then proceeded to tell me that she wants to deal with me because I am O's stepmom now and he loves me and calls me mom and it's my job now to be a part of his parenting. Funny how a month ago I was not to get involved. She replied to Eric's email and then got all pissy with me. Here's her email.

So what ur saying is that Owen had 8 days of absence when he was with me, if that is even correct? So 5 days of his absences are from when he was with you.

If you noticed, Owen was sick for 3 days when my mom called him in, which i told u about. 2 days the week before all the stress of last month, which u knew about because he ended up having blood work drawn around that time, & one day he was sent home by the nurse, which I told u about. 1 day is early release, which u have let him stay home as well on early release days. That is the one & only time i have done that. So that leaves 1 day, last week, which I told u we were exhausted, so no, I didn't lie to u & Owen was standing right there.
For the record, Owen has either diarrhea, constipation, or stool leaking into his underwear most days of the week.

Why did he miss 5 days on ur watch???

This is so like u to try to pick apart my parenting when u have done the same exact thing, only worse because he wasn't sick when he was with u, was he? So why did he miss 5 full days with u?

Oh & you failed to have him work on his huge packet of homework when u had an entire week to do so, then tried to pass the blame to me by emailing Ms. Lutz after I told u we would take care of it& we did. U knew about that homework, as did Owen. So who's to blame? & you didn't have him read one page in a book for the entire week yet u think it's ok to try & point a [email protected] cuz I forgot to have him fill out his reading log. Ridiculous. That's an easy fix. He did the reading. Have him write it in already, if that's your goal. Btw reading [email protected] amusement park hardly constitutes quality reading.

Where's my copy of the school's paper work? I am entitled to it. Asap.

You know what really worries me? You don't care about Owen's stomach problems. You just told me over the phone you are not going to change your whole routine @ home, after I told u Owen had allergies to soy & peanuts. That's terrible. He's in pain. Class 1 allergies cause gastrointestinal upset, which is why Owen has been missing school in the first place! But it's more fun for u to try to blame me. But Owen having food allergies is inconvenient for u, isn't it? so u push it aside, belittle it. That's why Owen doesn't tell u when his stomach hurts, or when he's constipated, or when he has diarrhea (which has caused [email protected]). Cuz u make him feel like he's not important. I have been trying to tell u something is going on with him for quite some time, but u wouldn't hear it. In fact, u didn't even know he was leaking stool. When I asked u about it months ago, u said it was not happening, then retracted that statement after he visited the Dr last month& tried to say you noticed it but only rarely. Question, is it still a lie if Owen doesn't hear out come out of your mouth?
I finally had enough of this sitting back and trying not to anger the beast, and decided that since she said I now play a role in his parenting, I would address the issues that bothered me the most.

Here is the information you requested.

He did not miss 5 full days with us. He missed 2 early release days, (one being a parent teacher conference day where the school day was 8am-10am,) One half day due to his dental work, and 2 full days. One was the day after our wedding, the other back in October. I remember there was a day he was feeling under the weather with a cough and stayed home, I can only assume it was that day.

In regards to his homework on spring break. You knew we were going on a week long trip. He had two full days before we picked him up for that trip that he could have done some of that homework. It took him a total of maybe 2 hours between our house and yours to do the work. It was not a hard packet. He slept on the way to California, and it was dark on the way back. We had no time do to it there. In regards to reading "signs" at amusement parks, I can assure you his reading at each park was in line with his reading level as well as informative. I can assure you every book he reads here is fully in line with his reading level. Also- he has ended up having homework to do here Sunday night on more than one occasion, due to him telling us his backpack was not even opened. Many times when we come to pick him up, his backpack is still in your car from Friday. Owen needs to be taught the responsibility of at least doing SOME of his homework right away. We did not expect you to do a full week long packet before we picked him up, but the courtesy of an effort would have been appreciated. You also told us that the week before the wedding he did no reading, and there was also nothing filled in on his log for the Tues-Fri you had him after the wedding. We missed one week due to being at theme parks from 9am until sometimes 11pm.

We do care about his health. Which is why A. We took him to the dentist after him not having seen one in 4 years and B. We took him for a well visit after him not having been to one in 3 years. We do not act on guesses. We wait until we have the facts from a Licensed Pediatrician, and then we make our decision. Owen's doctor informed us that cutting out Soy and Peanut in it's pure form would be best for him. We agreed with that. We are not going to cut out every trace of soybean oil from everything he eats. His Doctor told is that was not necessary.

Never did we lie to you about his underwear. Up until one week, we had not seen anything in his underwear. ONE time, there was what I would classify as leakage or just plain not wiping, but again, this was after 3 weeks straight of cafeteria food. We suggested months ago that cafeteria food was probably causing a lot of his stomach problems, and he stopped complaining of stomach aches completely once we started packing him a lunch again. I just checked again and each of the 3 pairs of underwear in his dirty laundry hamper are completely "leakage" free. I honestly do think this has to do with him eating healthy lunches and not cafeteria food. Like I told you on the phone, when I eat in our school cafeteria, my stomach gets very angry with me too.

Never did we say you lied to Owen, or us. We said that Owen heard you tell the school he had diarrhea, when he knew he did not and was just tired from the field trip. He also told us he went to bed at 9:30 the night of the field trip. Whether this holds any truth or not, plenty of kids went on that same field trip and were able to make it to school the next day.

If you have any further concerns, please email me back. I want to make sure we are all on the same page for Owen, as he was very very upset when he got off the phone tonight. I do not intend to argue with you, but these concerns needed to be addressed.
Hopefully I didn't come off too ******, but enough for her to see I won't just sit back and let her ruin him.

He and I just had a hug war. I hugged him goodnight and he wouldn't let go. He told me I am the best mom ever. He told me he loves me so much. I squeezed him tight and told him I love him so much and I am so proud of him because he has grown up into such a polite and wonderful boy. I went to stand up and he held on and I lifted him off the bed because he held on so tight. He and I have a very special bond. I have spent a LOT of time with him in the last two years, and I genuinely care about him. It is not about proving her wrong, or trying to be a better parent. It is about doing what is best for that little boy asleep 20 feet from me who just wants a normal life. And that is my main focus.
Jennifer - Married to Eric 3.10.13 - Full Time Stepmom to OwenPregnant with our first together <3 Due July 12, 2015
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