Topic: Visitors
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April 11th, 2013, 09:49 PM
NinjaCakes's Avatar
NinjaCakes NinjaCakes is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,473
I posted this in the natural birth forum, but I guess I'm still unsure and looking for input. I know that I absolutely do not want visitors right away after baby is born. The three of us need to have bonding time, time to learn how to breastfeed, time to rest, etc. I'd rather not have to chase people out when she needs to eat (I don't want anybody but him seeing that much of me) or when we need to sleep. I especially want some uninterrupted time for BF to get his new 'sea legs.' He's very self conscious around other people and if he's unsure of himself he backs off completely. He just disengages from the whole situation. He has never been around a newborn, more or less held one, or fed one, or dealt with one crying. He will need time with this new baby to get used to her and get used to himself as a father, learn to hold her and interact with her, just learn to be with her in general, to gain some confidence in himself. If people are running in and out and swooping her out of our arms he may not even attempt it. If his family starts telling him he's doing something wrong (they frequently do) he definitely won't. I don't want anyone ruining that experience for him.

I know our families won't like it, but this isn't about them. In particular this is about of our parents. My mom is a huge source of stress for me, his dad is for him, and his mom is for both of us. And while other people I might be more amenable to seeing, I do have to be fair and apply this to everyone. I'm not trying to hurt feelings. What I'm undecided on is how much time I should tell them. I've read personal stories/ gotten suggestions of anything from six hours to 48 hours. With the risk of early delivery now looming over us I have considered that I may want to make it longer when the time comes, but for now I'm trying to plan for a typical situation.

So my questions are moms, how long after your kids were born did you let visitors come? Moms/FTM's, how long after do you plan to let them come this time?

Thanks so much Claire for my awesome siggy

Last edited by NinjaCakes; April 11th, 2013 at 10:44 PM.
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