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May 7th, 2013, 11:21 AM
Banned-JaeSung JaeSung is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 715
Originally Posted by HorseGal View Post
Warning, I don't sugar coat.

Hun you have GOT to quit acting like this "man" is even worth anyones time of day. Lets kill it and get a cat instead? Seriously. Don't offer to let that POS live in your house. Like you need ANOTHER kid to take care of. He can either man up or step out, but either way he's going to be paying to support this child for the next 18 years. A child is a blessing and if he can't see that he should have kept it in his pants or covered it up. Plain and simple.

And btw I understand you have an emotional attachment, but once you step out of this situation and move on, you will be so thankful you did. Go find a real man.
I don't disagree that he's immature.

Originally Posted by Celinda_n View Post
I know people might not like this and I'm sorry if I offend ... But abortion in not an option in my opinion. I too am sorry you are in this situation and it sounds like you are going to make the right decision and end the relationship. If you do decide you are unable to care for this child, then please consider adoption. Many families would love to help you in your time of need with medical assistance and financial compensation. But this baby is a life.. Not a choice. We look at these images on u/s and rejoice fir each other! Itty bitty babies with heart beats! BABIES. People say it's the mother's choice but what about the babies choice? I'm sorry to sound like this but abortion is not a teeth cleaning type of procedure. In and out with no harm done. It's a life and it's murder. I don't want anyone to feel pain from a past decision. I've been there and I regret it constantly. I wish someone would have stood up to me then and told me there was another way. I will pray for you and the pain and confusion you must be feeling. But God is good! He will honor your decision to protect life. It won't be easy alone but you can do it!
It's not an option to me either, which is why I told him if it happens again, I would not make the same decision. Obviously he doesn't believe me about that.

I will not go the adoption route. My kid is just that, mine.

I did tell him it is a life. I said to him, if it exists, it's a life.

I have had an abortion, I don't need to be told what it's like.

I'm not religious.

Originally Posted by Brittanie View Post
In my mind, this man is focused almost completely on himself. He's worried about HIS life and what a new responsibility will do to HIS lifestyle. I'm sure you will miss the good things, that is normal. But what we're seeing is the bullying and disrespect he is showing you.

In the end, you have to decide whether those good parts are worth what you are going through right now. Whether they're worth the fear that he will find some other dumb thing he doesn't like and bully you into changing with the threat of him leaving.

It's obvious to me that you want to be a mother. That you want this child. Do you want it badly enough to not let him rob you of that dream?

You're strong enough to stand up for yourself, whichever you decide.
I agree with you. How he's acting is very selfish. And he's telling me I can't support it, because I'm on govt assistance. That's not his decision to make.

Thank you.

Originally Posted by Vick2009 View Post
I just hope that you look into some contraception next time. If you want and love that child in your womb an abortion wouldn't be an option, AGAIN. I work in social services, I assist women get on these govt programs. Where there's a will there's a way. Can't really blame him for what you are contemplating doing to your body again. This isn't some tribe in a third world country. You have the final say as to what goes on in your body. You won't be the first or last woman to do it on their own. If you are again offended by the tone of my post, that's on you. It's the truth and like they say the truth hurts.
Please don't jump to conclusions. I was taking bc pills since November. Nowhere did I say abortion is an option. Please read another reply of mine, above this.

I'm not putting any blame on him. If anything, he's not taking responsibility.

Originally Posted by feythful View Post
It doesn't sound to me like he's worried about anyone but his own feelings. There has been absolutely no consideration of what you want or how you feel. Not in the last pregnancy and not in this one.

It's time that you put yourself and the baby first. Make plans for living without him. That doesn't mean you have to end things with him, just be prepared for the possibility without him. If he comes around and decides to be involved? Wonderful. If not? You'll still have all your ducks in a row. His opinion about this working doesn't matter at all as long as you've determined to find the finances to make this work.
I agree. He tells me I am not ready, that I can't take cared of it. But how does he know? He can't speak of what I can and can't handle. He only has the right to speak for himself.

Oh, things with him will end. I won't end them, but he will. Unless by some miraculous change of heart on his part, he decides he's ready after all. Which I will not hold my breath for.

You're right, it doesn't matter.

Originally Posted by JJ1221 View Post
Another approach to consider... would you let someone take your 2 year old son/daughter from you (if you had one)? I highly doubt it. So why let someone take your unborn child from you now?

In the womb or outside the womb - there is no difference. Did you know that the bible book of Psalms (chapter 139, verse 16) says that God notices even embryos? God takes the time and effort to notice a child while still in the womb... does that not show the importance of an unborn baby?

First I must say I am not religious, and mentioning that offends me.

There's no "taking" from me. What he is saying I should do is get rid of it.

Last edited by JaeSung; May 7th, 2013 at 11:38 AM.