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May 7th, 2013, 01:53 PM
dreamer2013 dreamer2013 is offline
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 3
I am 33 years old and have two children, a 13 year old and a 9 year old. I was with their father for 14 years. We recently split up in May of 2012. He has a history of on again off again drug use. Well in June of 2012 I met a guy and we started talking. He was really nice. He worked nights so we basically would see each other on the weekends. We would meet at the bar every weekend. Prior to this I rarely went out, ever. So I guess I was having a little fun and feeling free from a long relationship. I was back and forth with my feelings towards this guy because I was and still am in love with my ex. He's known that all along. I feel like I pushed myself to like him more then I did or could because he was such a good guy. I was trying to get my mind off of my ex. I know it all sounds horrible. I wasnt in a good place in my life at the time. Well fast forward... I am now 9 weeks pregnant by this guy. I'm so depressed, I'm unhappy, I dont feel like myself, I cry all the time. About a week after I found out I was pregnant I broke it off with him. I guess from not going out to the bars with him and not letting alcohol play a part in my weekends with him I realized that I dont not want a relationship with him, I do not see my future with him and I could never love him or care about him like he wants or needs. I am however keeping the baby. I have went back and forth with the decision for a couple weeks because I never planned on having anymore kids. I've had two prior abortions in the past. I can't let me selfishness take away from this baby's life. I'm just so confused. I dont know what to do anymore. MY ex has straightened out his life and is actually helping take care of our kids since he now has a job. I just told him about my pregnancy and he still wants to be with be, etc.... but at this time in my life I want and need to be alone. Please dont judge me as a bad person. I'm really not. I guess things happen for a reason.
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