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May 20th, 2013, 09:03 AM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar
*Jennifer* *Jennifer* is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: California
Posts: 5,500
Originally Posted by alittlelost View Post
I'd love to hear an example where whether or not it harms the child or someone else or themselves in some way is irrelevant. For example, brushing your teeth after a meal is a rule, because not doing so would be harmful to themselves. Waiting in line is a rule, because cutting in from of someone else would be hurtful to them. I just can't think of a rule we don't have (that anyone else thinks we need) that doesn't come down to being respectful of themselves, others, and their environment (ie, not doing anything that is harmful to themselves, others, or their environment) so I'd love to hear some examples Not to mention, I personally think anything harmful is ALWAYS relevant, but to each their own Still, to me, that is the whole point of having boundaries! If I had boundaries just for the heck of it (ie--you aren't allowed to eat purple food because I said so) then I would just be teaching my children that boundaries are there because other people said so, and so they must listen (no matter what--which is dangerous thinking, IMO), instead of teaching them that boundaries are there for a reason, to keep everyone healthy and safe and feeling respected. I also find it helps my children trust me. They know that if I make a rule, there will be a reason for that rule. I'm not making rules just to exert power. I am trying to envision a situation where that would be healthy.
Sorry if my post sounded snarky. I do apologize. A rule would be something like coloring on the floor. While it is not harming others or himself and it is easy as pie to clean, it is not acceptable. Of course I try redirection first and if he continues to color on the floor he gets a times out. I will say though that it did backfire on me once when he colored on the floor and walked himself to timeout. I could just see what was going on in his head..."Yeah Mom, I know...time out, but this is sooo worth it."

Also, wanted to add in that my Mom and MIL take care of Billy while I work, so I have to enforce rules I know they would have at their house too. I know coloring on the floors would be unacceptable there and it would be confusing to him if he could do it at home, but not at those places.

Last edited by *Jennifer*; May 20th, 2013 at 09:06 AM.
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