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July 2nd, 2013, 07:24 AM
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AtomicMama AtomicMama is offline
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
Originally Posted by Stepmom2Be View Post
Thank you. I find myself sitting here hoping she messes up and gets a dui or something this week so I dont have to worry about him next week. Then I feel mean and I hope she magically gets her act together for O.


I hate to be concerned just solely based off the past, but it's what shes given us to work with, ya know. In OUR situation, her drinking leads to her neglecting O and putting him in danger. Will a judge see that now? Is it a gamble we are willing to take?
In response to the first part, I think that all the time. Then I remember how much it would crush DSD, and I feel mean about it. There is honestly no perfect solution, you know? It's just impossible. On one hand, you KNOW that you and your DH would provide a better, more stable environment for O on a regular basis. You know that having a stable home would be better for him. On the other hand, you know that his relationship with his mom is important to him, and that if something happened where she could not be around for him, it would crush HIM. There is no winning. I just wish that in these cases the BMs would sit back for a moment and think about what is best for their child in the situation. I know in our case, and I'm going to assume that it would be very similar in yours, that we would be more than happy to do whatever we could to foster a great relationship between DSD and BM, if we were able to have her the majority of the time, especially during the school week/school year. In my mind, it would be the perfect set up. It's just hard when it seems like BM isn't acting in the best interest of the child And I'm so sorry you guys are struggling with that, too.

And I hear you on wondering if it's enough and if it is worth the gamble. It's such a hard act to balance!! On one hand, you know that the court will get annoyed if you keep running back and reopening the case without good reason. On the other hand, you don't want it to be flipped around on you, that you guys KNEW she was drinking again and didn't do anything about it. But is Os word going to be enough? Is one drink going to be serious enough? Do you have a lawyer you could call, even just to ask a few questions? Otherwise, you might consider anonymously calling CFS/CPS and just asking them about the situation and if it's a situation you are required to/should report.
Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)

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