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July 6th, 2013, 12:51 PM
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alittlelost alittlelost is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 6,905
I don't think the OP meant any harm, I want to say that. I think maybe she misunderstood something here and some people maybe misunderstood what she was saying there. There were some comments though, by other people . . . but maybe I was misunderstanding them. Who knows.

The whole thing is SO crappy. I lost faith in my body. I'm angry at my body. It was my last birth so I have ZERO chance of another natural birth. I can't help but compare it to the birth of my youngest son, which was amazing by comparison. It makes it hard for me to hear people planning to have the birth I was trying to avoid--why couldn't they have my birth and I have the one I wanted? (I'm not judging them; I want them to have the birth THEY want, but emotionally, I just hate that they COULD have the birth I wanted and they are throwing that away--again, this is my emotion; logically/mentally, I want them to have the birth THEY want).

Then add to that I'm having breastfeeding problems (and tons of pumping problems) and I'm worried about my baby's future, developmentally. I didn't get to see her at all yesterday due to new admission happening at the time we were able to go in and then we didn't have a sitter after that and the NICU rules suck and they said she'd be there 2-3 weeks and she's 3 weeks old and they said she will be there another 2-3 weeks now. It's discouraging.

Originally Posted by GranolaMama View Post
---deleting this since the original was deleted, but leaving my response for the poster to read!---
this is how I feel. I'm glad the hospital was there when I *needed* it, but I HATE hospitals. I hate IVs. I have epidurals. I hate medications. I hate it all. And I would not chose this for me or my baby. But, that doesn't mean I'm not grateful. I am. I'm so glad for modern medicine to be there for those who need it, or heck, even those who want it. But I'll never be one of those people who want it. I know the doctors all had this "bet you're glad for the hospital now" attitude, but it's misplaced. I've always been glad for the hospital. I just don't want to use it when I don't need it. That hasn't changed. If anything, I feel more strongly about it.
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Last edited by alittlelost; July 6th, 2013 at 12:59 PM.
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