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July 24th, 2013, 03:30 PM
mamatomany mamatomany is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 848
Originally Posted by reereetx View Post
i just can't stop crying. I feel like I should just leave it all up to God and he will take care of us no matter what. I feel like I got pg for a reason and even though things may be hard for the next 5 years or so (mainly because cost of daycare is what we can't afford) the end it's worth it...but I know if I go through with what he wants...I will regret it and hate myself forever. Anybody else been in this type of situation? What happened? I keep thinking maybe DH will come around but then there's a part of me that thinks he's going to resent me, although I know if I go through with terminating...I'm going to resent him. In a way I think I am already starting to just for him suggesting it and being practically 100% adamant that's what he wants.
I think it's really clear that you already know what you want -- to add this little son or daughter to your family. I'm so sorry that your husband isn't being supportive right now, but I know you are going to regret it the rest of your life if you end this pregnancy. You have two children who you love so much, do you really think it will be any different this time around even for your husband? In assuming your first daughter was unplanned, but things worked out alright then, and I know they will again now. Give your husband some time, it's hard to have plans changed and derailed. But is a bigger, nicer house worth the price you'll pay? You said yourself you're pro-life-- is a new home and financial stability worth your son or daughter's life? It hurts to even think about it like that! I'm sure it's hard for it to seem real right now to you and your husband. It's hard to get excited about a theoretical baby when your plans are getting 'messed up'-- but remember the joy that this child will bring and the loveliness of a surprise baby to share with your older children.

Our last baby was born after a vasectomy, so you can bet we weren't expecting him! Of course it was a shock, but never for one moment has it been a negative thing to add him to our family -- he is a little treasure for all of us.

Gve your husband some space and some time. You believe this happened for a reason and I think you're right -- rest in that and things will all turn out for good. But absolutely don't let yourself be pressured and bullied into ending this little one's life-- you're the one who will bear the pain of that choice and I truly don't want that to happen to you! Best wishes, big hugs, and keep us posted!! I recommend you join a due date club here on just mommies. The ladies are wonderfully supportive and it's so fun and encouraging.

Also, if there is a crisis pregnancy nearby give them a call. They usually will do a free ultrasound and the you can get a better idea of how far along you are and see that sweet little one for the first time. Keep your head up mama!
Brooke, happy mama to one girl (9), and four boys (7, 5, 3, and 2) and a surprise post-vasectomy miracle baby born February 7.
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