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July 24th, 2013, 06:17 PM
AnnaBonana AnnaBonana is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,325
I'm just so scared and I can't stop!

I'm having really bad cramps tonight. I just feel like crying. It feels like AF is just about to start, and I had brown spotting today. The cramps were bad enough I went and got a pad be ause that's how much it feels like AF is coming. I checked my cervix and it still feels high and closed, but I'm not really an expert and I don't want to check it again because I'm sure poking it isn't a good idea right now. I also have to pee but I'm so scared of wiping and seeing bright red blood that I've been holding it!

And to top it off, I haven't heard from DH since three. It's now after eight. I know he's probably in the field or something is broke down. I want so badly to just go out and ride with him and listen to music for a while but his father and I had a falling out several months ago and I'm scared to go over there lest there be more drama. So I really want to hear from my DH or at least know what time we might have supper, or tell him how scared I am and I can't and that is super frustrating too!

If I hadn't had a loss I'd be out of the 'danger zone' by now and I'd have a little faith that my body knows what to do. Instead I'm sitting here fighting tears and feeling so ripped off and angry!
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