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July 29th, 2013, 02:05 AM
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Mod-plan4fate plan4fate is offline
I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
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Dh and I were an international couple, and there's one more on here who was as well. Not quite as international as you.. We are both Canadians and our husbands are Americans.

That said... I've not had any issues with Reme and getting him to talk to me. If anything I wish he'd shut up a little bit because omg that boy can talk....

You said your step son is 4? That is very young and he is likely still confused. That said, your OH has to facilitate the relationship. If your DSS asks him a question about you, your OH has to tell him that you are standing right there and he can ask you himself. It can be done in loving and sweet ways.. it doesn't have to sound as cold and mean as I know it did when I typed it out.

Could the mother be causing issues? We've never had an issue, DH's ex and I get along splendidly.... but I know my sisters mother made my mom's life a living hell by putting little thoughts into her mind about the situations at hand. Something as simple as "you don't have to listen to her, you don't have to talk to her" is VERY powerful to a small child.

I partly agree with your OH.. but at the same time I don't. The reality of it is, you are another parent to this child, and that relationship needs to be established quickly and firmly. For the first month or two yeah... it was fine.. but now things need to get to a normal home life...

They say it takes 7 years to blend a family on average.

I expected us to have more issues than we do.. because.. well... I am mean. I don't tolerate BS out of anyone... and everyone else around me does. And there was some headbutting for the first month or two... after that everything started to settle down and have been mostly smooth since. The big hurdle for us was I had never wanted to be a step parent... but he was part of the deal.

And now, let me tell you, most of the time he is the best part of my marriage
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