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October 2nd, 2013, 08:14 PM
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ashj_1218 ashj_1218 is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,971
Being fully honest...I struggle with liking DH right now. He was raised by complete idiots for parents (children are seen and not heard type, they guilt tripped the kids into feeling like everything negative was their fault). And he just doesn't know how to be a supportive, calm parent. He is mostly afraid of the kids, but some of it is my fault. I want my children raised in a loving, supportive, and fun household. One where there isn't a lot of yelling or negativity. So I know part of why he shys away from helping me is because when he gets overwhelmed, he yells. And the kids are almost always overwhelming to him right now. So he just leaves their care to me, which, needless to say, creates some animosity. We try to encourage family time. He does try at times. But I have struggles of my own, feeling like he just takes the easy way out (ala: I am so *overwhelmed* I am going to read news on the Ipad, leaving me to sort out a toddler tantrum while cajoling Jo). Thank goodness for counseling!! But, even with all the counseling knowledge and skills, along with knowing the root of his doesn't mean I have to like him. I love him, but right now is not a shining time for us (he does do better with the older ages, as he is very rational and can talk to Liam like a small adult. So I am somewhat looking forward to when the kids age out of this stage where he feels so useless to sort out their needs). It's a balancing act for us the first year. But no marriage is without it's challenges (I do admit I am a tad jealous of all the super-dads in here).
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