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October 14th, 2013, 08:29 PM
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momof8lopez momof8lopez is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,894
Originally Posted by EverydayJoy View Post
Lori, I definitely agree with what all the ladies have said. You have been through a horrific situation and even though it had a happy ending, you have all the emotional trauma to deal with now, on top of the regular PP hormones.
I'm sorry your DH is not really helping you process this.
I recall when I had the miscarriage, my DH was sympathetic, but didn't really understand at all. I feel like he didn't even grieve, didn't understand why I was having such a hard time and why I was in a dark place for so long. I also had a traumatic experience with that, I hemorrhaged really badly and had to have an emergency D&C. Got a blood clot in my lung on top of that, so it was pretty bad. Definitely not as traumatic as what you described though.

What seems to help for some people anyway, is just talking, and talking, and talking about it. Telling the story of what happened to you and how you felt. Journaling, if you think that would help. Talk to us too! We want to help if we can.

Definitely get some help if you need it, counseling when you're physically able.

I'm sorry you had to have a C-section, that has to suck when you had all your others vaginally and were expecting to have that this time too. You had a horrific birth experience, so I imagine in a way you're grieving the loss that beautiful or at least "normal" experience that you expected.
The more I talk about it, the more I relive it. I guess at this point, I just need to stop talking about it for awhile and concentrate on how beautiful little Rey is and how lucky I'am. You nailed it though about the birth experience.....I had invissioned all those emotions of when they put the baby on your chest for the first breath, having dh cut the cord, giving his first bath, having him see me when his eyes open for the very time......all of those things were taken from me. But like I said, I'm grateful I have him. So many other mama's never get to hold their baby's EVER after a birth like his, and for this I will just suck it up and praise God that he gave me that.

Thank you ladies for all the kind supportive advice and just listening. It has helped alot, at least I'm not stuck on the negative anymore. Lots of love to you.
momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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