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October 16th, 2013, 09:16 PM
Bella Nyxe's Avatar
Bella Nyxe Bella Nyxe is offline
Serenity in Moonlight
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: urban paranormal utopia
Posts: 2,783
im trying a little bit of everyones suggestion.

I thought about hopping on my bike and riding as far as I could but that was not an option. I am the only one here for the boys and therefor could not do this (as much as I really wanted to. thank you for the idea lhug_nar )

instead I cleaned the entire garage which really helped work off my mad. and im hurting very much in my legs from all the work. im counting that as a bonus, ya know , for working muscles that needed working.

then I went right into the garden and that helped a lot too. I felt a lot more balanced and clear headed.

I talked to my sister about everything and got as much off of my chest as I could.

im exhausted. I don't think im going to try tonight - but tomorrow night im going to try meditating.

if I can stay clear headed during meditation I might attempt a small ritual on Friday. for connection, wisdom and clarity. I would like to try this outside maybe that would help keep me grounded.

thank you all for your suggestions. I fall into meditations pretty quickly until recently. with everything going on I think I freaked more when I couldnt clear my thoughts.

im going to try to schedule in some work out time. I have done very minimal to no yoga since iv started back to work and it is showing. I think I need to make it a constant in my life.

terry - i think you are totally right about the ego. im going to work on this. i, going to try to work on the release thing too. its a lot of anger and guilt - i havnt had a lot of time to myself so i think that is a big part of it too - its been hard to release. iv been keeping things in because im doing my best not to let anything show around the twins - im around the twins most of my time unless im at work.

becoming the sole care taker of the twins is stressful but adding all the problems to it, its getting to be down right crazy.

thank you all for listening

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